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He wants to try again...
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<blockquote data-quote="tryingtobestrong" data-source="post: 738788" data-attributes="member: 22817"><p>Just wanted to update .. Got here a few days ago, went to his apartment, no answer. Luckily I have a key... went in and he was sleeping. small liquor shots all over the floor plus many unused ones in the bag yet.. waited an hour or so and then woke him up. Now that I think about it, he was most likely still feeling the affects of his drinking because he talked and shared a lot of his feelings. Says he wants to stop and be sober but it always seems to draw him back in after 12 days. He said the thoughts he has when he is sober are very dangerous and he thinks of suicide at those times. He feels a lot of shame and guilt for his past actions with his long term now ex girlfriend. We told him that he needs to put it in the past and focus on the future and changing himself. Focus on positives and retrain his brain. He said that when he does something good at work and his supervisor compliments him he feels terrible. Like he isn't supposed to feel good about himself. I spoke to a guy from a rehab about that and he said that the addiction has made him feel so worthless that until he retrains his brain he will continue to feel worthless. </p><p>He doesn't eat only drinks... He said that he has been on a binge for 2 weeks now. Really upset over getting discharged from his IOP because he related to those guys. </p><p>Said the other night he was that drunk that he sat in the parking lot of a food place and was surprised no one called the police on him. Unbelievable. college graduate and this ....</p><p>Talked about the death of his best friend and how that set him back...</p><p>HE tried on Friday not to drink.. When he was done at work we took him out to dinner and he was saying how badly he wanted to drink and that the was having withdrawals.. we didn't give in and then he told us he drank after work. </p><p>He isn't going to change. It is so awful seeing someone so bright and who was once full of life so down. he said he no longer plays his playstation which he used to enjoy. He said that his entire outlook on life has changed. he no longer enjoys anything. I do feel that he will take his life because he is so unhappy. we went to see his new apartment and then were going to get some things for it.. he said he didn't feel good so we took him back to his place and left.. Yep, you all know what we found when we went back.. he had got a lfyt and went for booze. Was asleep when we got there but seen the empty bottle. When he woke up he was not nice like usual so we left. It is obvious he didn't' want us there and hasn't called or text us since we left. He is probably drinking himself into a coma.</p><p></p><p>I don't know why I sit and cry. I feel numb when I look at him. I feel like there is no love there but I continue to try to help, try to find him IOP's to go to, etc. I cry when I think of him alone at Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. If he lives that long. He has no friends because he has pushed them all away. He is no fun to be around. So very depressed.</p><p>He is drinking himself to death. </p><p>He mentioned he thinks he can only make it 6 more months with his bills, etc. Not sure what he plans on doing then. We have told him he will be homeless if he loses his job. he went in late twice this past week because of how much he drank the night before. </p><p>so young and so wasting away.</p><p>his new place will be no different. The are bars all around, he will isolate himself again.</p><p>So when the inevitable happens, not sure what to do. I feel so bad for his cat. He rescued him 2 years ago. The cat had a rough past and now his future sure doesn't look so good. If my son ends up in the hospital which I feel will be next or in jail for disorderly conduct, the poor cat will suffer. </p><p>Not sure what he will do with his things in the apartment if he decides to go into rehab once he loses his job which seems too that will be on the horizon.</p><p>sorry for rambling. so upsetting being so far away when we go home when you know what is coming.</p><p>He says he doesn't want to be this way but it controls every thought. feels like he will never be able to get out of it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tryingtobestrong, post: 738788, member: 22817"] Just wanted to update .. Got here a few days ago, went to his apartment, no answer. Luckily I have a key... went in and he was sleeping. small liquor shots all over the floor plus many unused ones in the bag yet.. waited an hour or so and then woke him up. Now that I think about it, he was most likely still feeling the affects of his drinking because he talked and shared a lot of his feelings. Says he wants to stop and be sober but it always seems to draw him back in after 12 days. He said the thoughts he has when he is sober are very dangerous and he thinks of suicide at those times. He feels a lot of shame and guilt for his past actions with his long term now ex girlfriend. We told him that he needs to put it in the past and focus on the future and changing himself. Focus on positives and retrain his brain. He said that when he does something good at work and his supervisor compliments him he feels terrible. Like he isn't supposed to feel good about himself. I spoke to a guy from a rehab about that and he said that the addiction has made him feel so worthless that until he retrains his brain he will continue to feel worthless. He doesn't eat only drinks... He said that he has been on a binge for 2 weeks now. Really upset over getting discharged from his IOP because he related to those guys. Said the other night he was that drunk that he sat in the parking lot of a food place and was surprised no one called the police on him. Unbelievable. college graduate and this .... Talked about the death of his best friend and how that set him back... HE tried on Friday not to drink.. When he was done at work we took him out to dinner and he was saying how badly he wanted to drink and that the was having withdrawals.. we didn't give in and then he told us he drank after work. He isn't going to change. It is so awful seeing someone so bright and who was once full of life so down. he said he no longer plays his playstation which he used to enjoy. He said that his entire outlook on life has changed. he no longer enjoys anything. I do feel that he will take his life because he is so unhappy. we went to see his new apartment and then were going to get some things for it.. he said he didn't feel good so we took him back to his place and left.. Yep, you all know what we found when we went back.. he had got a lfyt and went for booze. Was asleep when we got there but seen the empty bottle. When he woke up he was not nice like usual so we left. It is obvious he didn't' want us there and hasn't called or text us since we left. He is probably drinking himself into a coma. I don't know why I sit and cry. I feel numb when I look at him. I feel like there is no love there but I continue to try to help, try to find him IOP's to go to, etc. I cry when I think of him alone at Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. If he lives that long. He has no friends because he has pushed them all away. He is no fun to be around. So very depressed. He is drinking himself to death. He mentioned he thinks he can only make it 6 more months with his bills, etc. Not sure what he plans on doing then. We have told him he will be homeless if he loses his job. he went in late twice this past week because of how much he drank the night before. so young and so wasting away. his new place will be no different. The are bars all around, he will isolate himself again. So when the inevitable happens, not sure what to do. I feel so bad for his cat. He rescued him 2 years ago. The cat had a rough past and now his future sure doesn't look so good. If my son ends up in the hospital which I feel will be next or in jail for disorderly conduct, the poor cat will suffer. Not sure what he will do with his things in the apartment if he decides to go into rehab once he loses his job which seems too that will be on the horizon. sorry for rambling. so upsetting being so far away when we go home when you know what is coming. He says he doesn't want to be this way but it controls every thought. feels like he will never be able to get out of it. [/QUOTE]
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