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Substance Abuse
He wants to try again...
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 738813" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Trying... I am so glad you checked in as I was wondering how you were doing. I have so been where you are with your son. It is so sad and heartbreaking to see our sons hurting so much, have so much self loathing and to do these self destructive behaviors. And the suicide threat is scary. We have dealt with that as well. When my son has been suicidal I have taken him to the hospital and he has been admitted. That has happened a couple of times. We have been going through this for years with our son.</p><p></p><p>Like Copa early on I was consumed by what was going on with my son and could not imagine being happy when he was so unhappy and such a mess. What helped me more than anything was finding a parents alanon group. (This site helped too). Finding other live people dealing with the same issues with their kids did wonders for me. So I really urge you to find an alanon group, preferably one for parents. If you dont like one meeting try another. Alanon is really about how to continue to live your life.</p><p></p><p>So at some point I realized I was not going to let my son ruin my life that I was going to continue living no matter what he did. I started doing things for me, doing things I liked, things that make me happy. And you know what I am happy. I have a lot of good things in my life. When things are bad with my son, and at times they have been really bad with him, I do feel sad and worried for him but I am no longer consumed by that fear and worry.</p><p></p><p>What I have learned is that I cannot make him better, or make him want to get better. We have taken the stand we will help him when he is helping himself. There have been many iterations of this.......with times of homelessness, and jail imbetween. One thing I have learned is he does know how to survive,,,, in situations I have no clue about.</p><p></p><p>And slowly he is progressing to really understanding his own addiction and to wanting help for it. Whether he will ever truly get and stay in recovery I dont know. What I do know is that I will continue to enjoy and live my life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 738813, member: 15801"] Trying... I am so glad you checked in as I was wondering how you were doing. I have so been where you are with your son. It is so sad and heartbreaking to see our sons hurting so much, have so much self loathing and to do these self destructive behaviors. And the suicide threat is scary. We have dealt with that as well. When my son has been suicidal I have taken him to the hospital and he has been admitted. That has happened a couple of times. We have been going through this for years with our son. Like Copa early on I was consumed by what was going on with my son and could not imagine being happy when he was so unhappy and such a mess. What helped me more than anything was finding a parents alanon group. (This site helped too). Finding other live people dealing with the same issues with their kids did wonders for me. So I really urge you to find an alanon group, preferably one for parents. If you dont like one meeting try another. Alanon is really about how to continue to live your life. So at some point I realized I was not going to let my son ruin my life that I was going to continue living no matter what he did. I started doing things for me, doing things I liked, things that make me happy. And you know what I am happy. I have a lot of good things in my life. When things are bad with my son, and at times they have been really bad with him, I do feel sad and worried for him but I am no longer consumed by that fear and worry. What I have learned is that I cannot make him better, or make him want to get better. We have taken the stand we will help him when he is helping himself. There have been many iterations of this.......with times of homelessness, and jail imbetween. One thing I have learned is he does know how to survive,,,, in situations I have no clue about. And slowly he is progressing to really understanding his own addiction and to wanting help for it. Whether he will ever truly get and stay in recovery I dont know. What I do know is that I will continue to enjoy and live my life. [/QUOTE]
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