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Substance Abuse
He wants to try again...
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 738829" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>I'm glad you checked in, Trying. I have been wondering how it went for you. I'm sorry it went the way it did.</p><p></p><p>It's heartbreaking to watch our precious children do this to themselves. We all understand that, and we've all made the choice to get involved when we swore we wouldn't, when we were at the point of walking away.</p><p></p><p>For what it's worth, I think it's obvious that your son isn't ready. If he continues the way he is going, very soon he will have to decide how important drinking really is to him, because it will be all he has left. </p><p></p><p>Please don't take what I am saying as advice or judgment, because that is not my intent. But if your son is at the point where his drinking is threatening his employment, his lodging, his finances, his relationships, and his health, then you are unfortunately also in an uncomfortable position. You must decide if assisting him is helping move him toward recovery or helping him continue to drink.</p><p></p><p>There are no right answers here, for any of us. I once was done with my son and completely at peace with my decision. Then he showed up on my doorstep sick and desperate, and I took him back in again. I wish I could say he turned it around that time, but he did not. We had many more cycles of drinking, lying, stealing, etc. before he finally decided to turn it around. But I believe if I had not taken him in that night, he likely would have died on the streets. There is no certainty, unfortunately. We can only do what we believe is best for all concerned and what we can live with.</p><p></p><p>The other thing I would add is a question for you. How do YOU feel?</p><p></p><p>In your last post, you spoke at great length about your son...but spoke very little, if at all, about how YOU feel...</p><p></p><p>How about your husband's feelings? Or your daughter's?</p><p></p><p>You matter too, as do your husband and your daughter. But it seems all of the focus is on your son.</p><p></p><p>Our addicted children are a vortex. We have to make special efforts to maintain a healthy emotional distance lest we get sucked into the vortex too. Even if we choose to continue physical or financial involvement with our addicted children, we can still shift our EMOTIONAL focus and recover our balance and perspective.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 738829, member: 17720"] I'm glad you checked in, Trying. I have been wondering how it went for you. I'm sorry it went the way it did. It's heartbreaking to watch our precious children do this to themselves. We all understand that, and we've all made the choice to get involved when we swore we wouldn't, when we were at the point of walking away. For what it's worth, I think it's obvious that your son isn't ready. If he continues the way he is going, very soon he will have to decide how important drinking really is to him, because it will be all he has left. Please don't take what I am saying as advice or judgment, because that is not my intent. But if your son is at the point where his drinking is threatening his employment, his lodging, his finances, his relationships, and his health, then you are unfortunately also in an uncomfortable position. You must decide if assisting him is helping move him toward recovery or helping him continue to drink. There are no right answers here, for any of us. I once was done with my son and completely at peace with my decision. Then he showed up on my doorstep sick and desperate, and I took him back in again. I wish I could say he turned it around that time, but he did not. We had many more cycles of drinking, lying, stealing, etc. before he finally decided to turn it around. But I believe if I had not taken him in that night, he likely would have died on the streets. There is no certainty, unfortunately. We can only do what we believe is best for all concerned and what we can live with. The other thing I would add is a question for you. How do YOU feel? In your last post, you spoke at great length about your son...but spoke very little, if at all, about how YOU feel... How about your husband's feelings? Or your daughter's? You matter too, as do your husband and your daughter. But it seems all of the focus is on your son. Our addicted children are a vortex. We have to make special efforts to maintain a healthy emotional distance lest we get sucked into the vortex too. Even if we choose to continue physical or financial involvement with our addicted children, we can still shift our EMOTIONAL focus and recover our balance and perspective. [/QUOTE]
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