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He was fired today
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 624091" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Daze, in thinking about RE's post to you, which I believe is wise, sage advice, I think it's somehow about not only acceptance of what is, but truly, somehow, letting go of whatever happens. </p><p></p><p>Is that even possible?</p><p></p><p>If we are happy for the good things with people we love, how can we not be sad for the bad things? </p><p></p><p>I have realized this past week, as I have picked myself up from the floor, that although I have been accepting (I think) of difficult child's current situation (homeless, no job, sleeping in abandoned houses) I am still waiting with bated breath for him to wake up and get it and stop this nonsense and start doing the right things. The days ticked by and I numbered them. </p><p></p><p>I have been keeping my distance and have detached a lot, but there is still all of that in the mix, in my head, and also in the unspoken silence between us. </p><p></p><p>So maybe I haven't accepted. Maybe I have just been tolerating that which I can't change. </p><p></p><p>I honestly can't get my mind around somebody living like he has been and just going on day after day after day doing whatever he does, with little sense of urgency to change it. I know it's the addiction. I know that. </p><p></p><p>I'm not going to ever understand addiction. I can read all about it but I am still not prepared for the relentless, ongoing, neverending dysfunction of it. I first typed insanity, then chaos, and then dysfunction. Because I am realizing that he likely doesn't see it at all that way. That's how I see it. </p><p></p><p>I see all of these attitudes I have as my obstacles. My motivation is to have a wonderful life, so I have to keep on letting go and trying to learn how to let go even more. </p><p></p><p>Somehow. </p><p></p><p>How do you do this when you love somebody and you are so scared for them and you see their life as a complete train wreck? I know that is judging him. I don't want to do that, but I am. </p><p></p><p>And we are all hoping that your son makes it in this job. And (not to be a downer, but along these same lines) what if he doesn't, this time? What if he takes some major steps forward---like he has done already---but the sustainability isn't there. It's not the same measure as we give ourselves. Okay, so he starts again. Or he doesn't. Why can't I accept that as completely okay and let go of expectations for anything?</p><p></p><p>We are told in Al-Anon that expectations is what kills us. I believe that. I just don't know how to let them completely go.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 624091, member: 17542"] Daze, in thinking about RE's post to you, which I believe is wise, sage advice, I think it's somehow about not only acceptance of what is, but truly, somehow, letting go of whatever happens. Is that even possible? If we are happy for the good things with people we love, how can we not be sad for the bad things? I have realized this past week, as I have picked myself up from the floor, that although I have been accepting (I think) of difficult child's current situation (homeless, no job, sleeping in abandoned houses) I am still waiting with bated breath for him to wake up and get it and stop this nonsense and start doing the right things. The days ticked by and I numbered them. I have been keeping my distance and have detached a lot, but there is still all of that in the mix, in my head, and also in the unspoken silence between us. So maybe I haven't accepted. Maybe I have just been tolerating that which I can't change. I honestly can't get my mind around somebody living like he has been and just going on day after day after day doing whatever he does, with little sense of urgency to change it. I know it's the addiction. I know that. I'm not going to ever understand addiction. I can read all about it but I am still not prepared for the relentless, ongoing, neverending dysfunction of it. I first typed insanity, then chaos, and then dysfunction. Because I am realizing that he likely doesn't see it at all that way. That's how I see it. I see all of these attitudes I have as my obstacles. My motivation is to have a wonderful life, so I have to keep on letting go and trying to learn how to let go even more. Somehow. How do you do this when you love somebody and you are so scared for them and you see their life as a complete train wreck? I know that is judging him. I don't want to do that, but I am. And we are all hoping that your son makes it in this job. And (not to be a downer, but along these same lines) what if he doesn't, this time? What if he takes some major steps forward---like he has done already---but the sustainability isn't there. It's not the same measure as we give ourselves. Okay, so he starts again. Or he doesn't. Why can't I accept that as completely okay and let go of expectations for anything? We are told in Al-Anon that expectations is what kills us. I believe that. I just don't know how to let them completely go. [/QUOTE]
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