difficult child is 40-something days clean and sober (43, 44? something like that). Things are still pretty good with him (although his bipolar still comes through and we are reminded how valuable it is to spend limited time with him (2 hrs, mostly). We're sticking to that.
But we're weird is that as difficult child shifts his behavior, so does everyone else around him. I know he's under the microscope, but, turns out, so are husband and I. So many helicopters hovering around difficult child......AND US PARENTS.....it's driving me nuts. The ones we love (our friends and family) and the ones we don't like much at all (his bio fam and "using friends"). Helicopters everywhere and we're already sick of it.
difficult child is 24. He is an adult. HE makes his decisions, not us. Ironically, difficult child is gradually coming to accept (at least it looks like that right now) that he's the captain of his ship, not us. He's going to 1-2 meetings daily, journaling, and loves his sponsor. Generally speaking, difficult child is not our issue right now.
It's the helicopters. They are everywhere!
We are trying to tell them gently, but directly to stop hovering. Some get it and stop. Others say they get it, but they keep right on helicoptering. And worst is that there is a tug-of-war going on over difficult child, his ex-girlfriend and their 4-yo son (our grandson). As long as everything is separate, things are fine. We are FINE with keeping things separate. But others in the mix are not.
So.......we block angry people on Facebook. We screen angry calls. We take a breath and count to 10 to tell helicopters to please STOP HELICOPTERING......difficult child is an adult. And, oddly enough, so are we.
Mixed success on that so far. Sigh..... Lots of my inner buzzers going off simultaneously and I don't like it.
Not feeling in touch with my inner Zen today. I know it's there, I know it'll return, I know the dust will settle.
But, today? Well, uh, let's see............ Dig deep for gratitude HLM.... What do we have in the Gratitude Bin today? There's always something......
Um..... Grateful my head hasn't blown to smithereens? (think the movie "Scanners") LOL!
No, seriously..... Grateful difficult child is still clean and sober. Grateful friends/family care a lot about difficult child (even if their helicopter methods don't help, their intention is good.....I think). Grateful for a stellar husband who always holds my hand on our journey. Grateful for our dog (black lab) who, I swear, knows more about pure love than all of us humans combined.
Ok, feeling a bit better. Still not thrilled, but a bit better. But....... Watch the Evening News tonight just to make sure I didn't go all "Scanners" on y'all! LOL!
Sigh....... This difficult child stuff really ain't for sissies, is it? Thanks for the rant/vent....
