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Welcome! Your son sounds a lot like mine. One thing I have learned is that counseling does nothing for these kids until they are invested in wanting to change. I shudder to think how much time and money I have wasted on therapy for my son with no effect. So how do we get them to want to change? Its hard to know, but I certainly think one way is to get out of the way of life's natural consequences. Things like allowing them to experience hunger or homelessness if their horrible choices have led them there. The more we put off life's consequences, the more we are putting off them traveling the path that *might* just lead to a desire to change. And thinking of it that way, it makes it about love and what is really best for them in the long view. An added benefit is being able to have some semblance of sanity and peace in our own homes. My son was just asked to leave for the final time. It took me a long time to get to this place, and it's ok if you are not quite there yet. This is a safe place for wherever you are in your own journey.

<blockquote data-quote="Night Owl Mama" data-source="post: 699393" data-attributes="member: 20490"><p>Welcome! Your son sounds a lot like mine. One thing I have learned is that counseling does nothing for these kids until they are invested in wanting to change. I shudder to think how much time and money I have wasted on therapy for my son with no effect. So how do we get them to want to change? Its hard to know, but I certainly think one way is to get out of the way of life's natural consequences. Things like allowing them to experience hunger or homelessness if their horrible choices have led them there. The more we put off life's consequences, the more we are putting off them traveling the path that *might* just lead to a desire to change. And thinking of it that way, it makes it about love and what is really best for them in the long view. An added benefit is being able to have some semblance of sanity and peace in our own homes. My son was just asked to leave for the final time. It took me a long time to get to this place, and it's ok if you are not quite there yet. This is a safe place for wherever you are in your own journey.</p></blockquote><p></p>

[QUOTE="Night Owl Mama, post: 699393, member: 20490"] Welcome! Your son sounds a lot like mine. One thing I have learned is that counseling does nothing for these kids until they are invested in wanting to change. I shudder to think how much time and money I have wasted on therapy for my son with no effect. So how do we get them to want to change? Its hard to know, but I certainly think one way is to get out of the way of life's natural consequences. Things like allowing them to experience hunger or homelessness if their horrible choices have led them there. The more we put off life's consequences, the more we are putting off them traveling the path that *might* just lead to a desire to change. And thinking of it that way, it makes it about love and what is really best for them in the long view. An added benefit is being able to have some semblance of sanity and peace in our own homes. My son was just asked to leave for the final time. It took me a long time to get to this place, and it's ok if you are not quite there yet. This is a safe place for wherever you are in your own journey. [/QUOTE]

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