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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 748027" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>Hello 200M,</p><p></p><p>We come here looking for answers. Looking for solutions. How to restore a formerly happy child from the wreckage of the sullen, troubled teenager they've grown into over time. Or how to fix a child who has been broken seemingly from birth.</p><p></p><p>We do receive answers, but most of the time, they aren't the ones we expected.</p><p></p><p>We learn that our own emotional well-being matters. Our financial well-being matters. In some cases - our physical well-being matters. The welfare of our pets and possessions matter.</p><p></p><p>We learn that the path back to sanity for us, the parents and step-parents and other family members of these lost souls, is detachment from our troubled adult children. We learn that we have absolutely no control over their decisions and behavior. If we are people of faith, we give them to the god of our understanding. This can provide some comfort.</p><p></p><p>We learn that our "helping" usually makes things worse and sets our kids back even further.</p><p></p><p>We learn that it isn't our fault.</p><p></p><p>We learn to mourn our losses and grieve what could have been, but sadly, is not.</p><p></p><p>Thus far your posts have focused on what your son is doing and what is happening in his daily life. This is not surprising and perfectly understandable. But eventually, you will likely learn the same lessons we all have learned here.</p><p></p><p>The only way out of this hell is to release ourselves, and detach with love from our troubled offspring.</p><p></p><p>All the best.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 748027, member: 13303"] Hello 200M, We come here looking for answers. Looking for solutions. How to restore a formerly happy child from the wreckage of the sullen, troubled teenager they've grown into over time. Or how to fix a child who has been broken seemingly from birth. We do receive answers, but most of the time, they aren't the ones we expected. We learn that our own emotional well-being matters. Our financial well-being matters. In some cases - our physical well-being matters. The welfare of our pets and possessions matter. We learn that the path back to sanity for us, the parents and step-parents and other family members of these lost souls, is detachment from our troubled adult children. We learn that we have absolutely no control over their decisions and behavior. If we are people of faith, we give them to the god of our understanding. This can provide some comfort. We learn that our "helping" usually makes things worse and sets our kids back even further. We learn that it isn't our fault. We learn to mourn our losses and grieve what could have been, but sadly, is not. Thus far your posts have focused on what your son is doing and what is happening in his daily life. This is not surprising and perfectly understandable. But eventually, you will likely learn the same lessons we all have learned here. The only way out of this hell is to release ourselves, and detach with love from our troubled offspring. All the best. [/QUOTE]
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