Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Hello
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 755092" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>When I read your post 200Meters, I am struck by this, what I see as the underlying essence and truth. Love.</p><p></p><p>I adopted my son, too. At 22 months. All of it was love. And Faith. I thought not one second about the risks, burden, responsibility or potential for heartache. Just love and haven. He was me. He became part of me. Enclosed by me. No different than had I carried him inside my body, him a part of me, me a part of him.</p><p>I was completely unconscious that by enclosing him within my life, myself, I would be taking into my own his future, his destiny. That there would be no way to separate him and his future, from my own.</p><p></p><p>I had been a driven woman. Anything controllable, usable in myself, my capacity, I used to launch myself forward in life. And here I had taken in without consciousness this X factor. And this is what I've been dealing with this last 12 or 14 years. Like a oyster takes in a piece of sand, to become a pearl, I took inside myself my adopted son. And you too.</p><p></p><p>All of this we're dealing with, I am learning to see as the greatest gift, and potential. Which is not to say it's easy.</p><p>Look 200meters. Your Youngest is very, very young. And lest I add, drunk with his own intelligence, power, impulsivity, potential. He will learn. There is no other way. Especially if somebody is so audacious. I believe that your religion (which I share) offers a way to understand what is happening to our sons, and us, as well.</p><p>This could happen, like anything could happen. Personally, I think that the rooting of love your Youngest has had with you and your wife will guard against this. I don't think Youngest will abandon himself to this extent. We will have to pray.</p><p>This is NOT the case. You've already shared about his green thumb. His love of plants and nature. His genius as a builder. Between the lines, I see his confidence. His ambition. His sense of himself. I can see him doing any number of things. Powerful things. He may have cut off the conventional paths, but he seems not to be conventional. </p><p></p><p>Do we know how he will go forward, do what he must do, to have a successful life? No. But there is a thrilling aspect to this story. When we forget our hearts are our between our teeth, we can feel this thrill. I can feel it.</p><p></p><p>This child of yours is not the common sort. He's a wild side kind of guy, it seems. The people who founded your country were like him in their way, I think. Maybe less defiant. Who knows? Maybe more cautious and thoughtful, for sure. But there's real courage and will, behind youngest's defiance and seeming indifference. </p><p></p><p>It's to pray and pray and pray that wisdom, patience and thoughtfulness kicks in, soon enough. And even if there's more stupidity, there's almost always the potential to turn things around.</p><p></p><p>In my own situation, I see more and more that hope for me, involves tolerating how little control I have over my son's story and ultimately my own. And to see the lessons in that. Which brings me to presence and prayer. Presence with my own fear, pain, terror, despair, and calling upon, in myself, the Divine, to be with me through this all. What else do we have? Any of us? At any point? The rest is illusory. That's what I think now.</p><p></p><p>That said, IT DOES SUCK.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 755092, member: 18958"] When I read your post 200Meters, I am struck by this, what I see as the underlying essence and truth. Love. I adopted my son, too. At 22 months. All of it was love. And Faith. I thought not one second about the risks, burden, responsibility or potential for heartache. Just love and haven. He was me. He became part of me. Enclosed by me. No different than had I carried him inside my body, him a part of me, me a part of him. I was completely unconscious that by enclosing him within my life, myself, I would be taking into my own his future, his destiny. That there would be no way to separate him and his future, from my own. I had been a driven woman. Anything controllable, usable in myself, my capacity, I used to launch myself forward in life. And here I had taken in without consciousness this X factor. And this is what I've been dealing with this last 12 or 14 years. Like a oyster takes in a piece of sand, to become a pearl, I took inside myself my adopted son. And you too. All of this we're dealing with, I am learning to see as the greatest gift, and potential. Which is not to say it's easy. Look 200meters. Your Youngest is very, very young. And lest I add, drunk with his own intelligence, power, impulsivity, potential. He will learn. There is no other way. Especially if somebody is so audacious. I believe that your religion (which I share) offers a way to understand what is happening to our sons, and us, as well. This could happen, like anything could happen. Personally, I think that the rooting of love your Youngest has had with you and your wife will guard against this. I don't think Youngest will abandon himself to this extent. We will have to pray. This is NOT the case. You've already shared about his green thumb. His love of plants and nature. His genius as a builder. Between the lines, I see his confidence. His ambition. His sense of himself. I can see him doing any number of things. Powerful things. He may have cut off the conventional paths, but he seems not to be conventional. Do we know how he will go forward, do what he must do, to have a successful life? No. But there is a thrilling aspect to this story. When we forget our hearts are our between our teeth, we can feel this thrill. I can feel it. This child of yours is not the common sort. He's a wild side kind of guy, it seems. The people who founded your country were like him in their way, I think. Maybe less defiant. Who knows? Maybe more cautious and thoughtful, for sure. But there's real courage and will, behind youngest's defiance and seeming indifference. It's to pray and pray and pray that wisdom, patience and thoughtfulness kicks in, soon enough. And even if there's more stupidity, there's almost always the potential to turn things around. In my own situation, I see more and more that hope for me, involves tolerating how little control I have over my son's story and ultimately my own. And to see the lessons in that. Which brings me to presence and prayer. Presence with my own fear, pain, terror, despair, and calling upon, in myself, the Divine, to be with me through this all. What else do we have? Any of us? At any point? The rest is illusory. That's what I think now. That said, IT DOES SUCK. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Hello
Top