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<blockquote data-quote="200Meters" data-source="post: 764135" data-attributes="member: 23727"><p>In my last post, almost 3.5 years ago, I posted:</p><p></p><p>"I just turned 57 last Saturday (on both the civil & Hebrew calendars; the dates coincide every 19 years). I (tenured civil servant) will have to retire in 10 years. How exciting. Apart from my (altogether blessed) marriage (the center of my universe, the one piece of <em>terra firma</em> in my existence), what have I got to show for my life? When I come up with an answer I will let you know."</p><p></p><p>I'm now 60 and will have to retire in 7 years.</p><p></p><p>My altogether blessed marriage is still the center of my universe and the one piece of true <em>terra firma</em> in my existence.</p><p></p><p>Do I have anything to show for my life at this point?</p><p></p><p>Well, I am writing a novel (a historical mystery spanning seven centuries). I have 38,000 words so far and would like to finish it by the time I retire (see above).</p><p></p><p>We are a one-dawg family. We had to put down Eldest Hound in the spring of 2021; she was then 16. We buried her in our 'burb's unofficial pet cemetery (in a wooded area) and visit her not nearly as often as we should.</p><p></p><p>My wife and I saw "Oppenheimer" last week. It was excellent.</p><p></p><p>So…</p><p></p><p>Da Boyz.</p><p></p><p>Youngest son did his time & earlier this year completed a court-imposed stint of community service (in a Jerusalem soup kitchen) and is now working at an area restaurant together with friends of his & together with his ladyfriend. He and ladyfriend are living with us. I was initially suspicious but it is actually working out rather well. His ladyfriend is a good, stabilizing influence on him. Youngest is showing signs of becoming housetrained, which is a good and necessary thing for any man in a relationship with a woman. My wife & I like Younger son's ladyfriend. We seem to be clicking. They talk about getting engaged and eventually getting married, but all in good time. Younger still has accumulated fines, that are accumulating interest and late penalties, that he is dealing with by not dealing with, but that is his problem. Also his problem are the one or two odd court cases he still has outstanding but the state doesn't seem to be treating them with any real urgency (deferments and continuances) so we are certainly not losing sleep over them. Younger Son is a big boy now. While he does have his issues (see above), he seems to be in a positive place.</p><p></p><p>About Older Son, I am less positive. Despite being several years older, he is not as mature as his younger brother. He is listless and does not have much drive to improve his lot in life. He is still living with the same Ladyfriend (who has lost a fortune of weight) and their relationship is still running in place, as it seems to have been doing almost since it started.</p><p></p><p>We pay their rent and utilities and, like her family, help them out with groceries. He worked for 1.5 years at a local supermarket but when the owners hired a new manager, he and the new manager did not get along (we heard from neutral sources that she didn't seem to get along with anybody; the owners have since sold the supermarket) and he has not had steady work for a while now. (This is where the listlessness & lack of drive come in.)</p><p></p><p>He has talked about starting a small business, a kiosk of some kind where they could sell cigarettes, soft drinks, some hard drinks, snacks, candy, etc. We paid for him & his ladyfriend to do a[n Israeli] Small Business Administration course on the basics of running a small business. It was 14 meetings. You could miss two. They missed four. (We found about this when they asked me to inquire about getting their certificates, which make them eligible for one-on-one counselling and to apply for a state-guaranteed startup loan). Apparently, Older Son's girlfriend wheedled the SBA into allowing them to sit in on a Zoom course (they went to – or not – an in-person course) and complete their requirements. I want to see this actually happen first.</p><p></p><p>We spent the Sabbath (Friday evening & yesterday; my wife and I are orthodox Jews, remember?) with Older Son and Ladyfriend. We have spoken with him but not got very far. We actually had a very pleasant time with them; we played a lot of Rummikub.</p><p></p><p>Based on his experiences, he equates working for someone else with being disparaged & humiliated but doesn't want to realize that assuming everything goes peachy that it will be a while before he & Ladyfriend could have a kiosk up and running and that it will be very hard work.</p><p></p><p>Their current lease is up in 3 weeks and they have as yet no replacement.</p><p></p><p>We can't see them out on the street but neither can we afford to subsidize them ad infinitum, nor is it the right thing to do, I don't think.</p><p></p><p>As far as Older Son is concerned, I still feel like I am treading water at the 200 meter mark (see my first post). For Younger Son, I think e have risen to 150 feet.</p><p></p><p>(One more thing, please. Anyone who wants to ask me anything about geopolitics and anything related to Israel and how Netanyahu and his gang of incompetent fanatics and assorted rear-end kissers are ruining the country, should please ask me privately.)</p><p></p><p>Any and all advice and comment will be welcomed.</p><p></p><p>Please forgive me for falling off the grid for so long.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="200Meters, post: 764135, member: 23727"] In my last post, almost 3.5 years ago, I posted: "I just turned 57 last Saturday (on both the civil & Hebrew calendars; the dates coincide every 19 years). I (tenured civil servant) will have to retire in 10 years. How exciting. Apart from my (altogether blessed) marriage (the center of my universe, the one piece of [I]terra firma[/I] in my existence), what have I got to show for my life? When I come up with an answer I will let you know." I'm now 60 and will have to retire in 7 years. My altogether blessed marriage is still the center of my universe and the one piece of true [I]terra firma[/I] in my existence. Do I have anything to show for my life at this point? Well, I am writing a novel (a historical mystery spanning seven centuries). I have 38,000 words so far and would like to finish it by the time I retire (see above). We are a one-dawg family. We had to put down Eldest Hound in the spring of 2021; she was then 16. We buried her in our 'burb's unofficial pet cemetery (in a wooded area) and visit her not nearly as often as we should. My wife and I saw "Oppenheimer" last week. It was excellent. So… Da Boyz. Youngest son did his time & earlier this year completed a court-imposed stint of community service (in a Jerusalem soup kitchen) and is now working at an area restaurant together with friends of his & together with his ladyfriend. He and ladyfriend are living with us. I was initially suspicious but it is actually working out rather well. His ladyfriend is a good, stabilizing influence on him. Youngest is showing signs of becoming housetrained, which is a good and necessary thing for any man in a relationship with a woman. My wife & I like Younger son's ladyfriend. We seem to be clicking. They talk about getting engaged and eventually getting married, but all in good time. Younger still has accumulated fines, that are accumulating interest and late penalties, that he is dealing with by not dealing with, but that is his problem. Also his problem are the one or two odd court cases he still has outstanding but the state doesn't seem to be treating them with any real urgency (deferments and continuances) so we are certainly not losing sleep over them. Younger Son is a big boy now. While he does have his issues (see above), he seems to be in a positive place. About Older Son, I am less positive. Despite being several years older, he is not as mature as his younger brother. He is listless and does not have much drive to improve his lot in life. He is still living with the same Ladyfriend (who has lost a fortune of weight) and their relationship is still running in place, as it seems to have been doing almost since it started. We pay their rent and utilities and, like her family, help them out with groceries. He worked for 1.5 years at a local supermarket but when the owners hired a new manager, he and the new manager did not get along (we heard from neutral sources that she didn't seem to get along with anybody; the owners have since sold the supermarket) and he has not had steady work for a while now. (This is where the listlessness & lack of drive come in.) He has talked about starting a small business, a kiosk of some kind where they could sell cigarettes, soft drinks, some hard drinks, snacks, candy, etc. We paid for him & his ladyfriend to do a[n Israeli] Small Business Administration course on the basics of running a small business. It was 14 meetings. You could miss two. They missed four. (We found about this when they asked me to inquire about getting their certificates, which make them eligible for one-on-one counselling and to apply for a state-guaranteed startup loan). Apparently, Older Son's girlfriend wheedled the SBA into allowing them to sit in on a Zoom course (they went to – or not – an in-person course) and complete their requirements. I want to see this actually happen first. We spent the Sabbath (Friday evening & yesterday; my wife and I are orthodox Jews, remember?) with Older Son and Ladyfriend. We have spoken with him but not got very far. We actually had a very pleasant time with them; we played a lot of Rummikub. Based on his experiences, he equates working for someone else with being disparaged & humiliated but doesn't want to realize that assuming everything goes peachy that it will be a while before he & Ladyfriend could have a kiosk up and running and that it will be very hard work. Their current lease is up in 3 weeks and they have as yet no replacement. We can't see them out on the street but neither can we afford to subsidize them ad infinitum, nor is it the right thing to do, I don't think. As far as Older Son is concerned, I still feel like I am treading water at the 200 meter mark (see my first post). For Younger Son, I think e have risen to 150 feet. (One more thing, please. Anyone who wants to ask me anything about geopolitics and anything related to Israel and how Netanyahu and his gang of incompetent fanatics and assorted rear-end kissers are ruining the country, should please ask me privately.) Any and all advice and comment will be welcomed. Please forgive me for falling off the grid for so long. [/QUOTE]
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