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Thank you all so much!  I am sorry, I do not know how to post directly or using extracts of quotes yet so please forgive me.  All of your words have given me great comfort. Of course I have read so many similar replies to other people with similar stories but somehow reading them directly to my story feels different and I thank you for your time.  I will continue to read your replies over and over when I doubt myself and I will be back with more.  I am also sorry you have all experienced such pain too.  Much love xx