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Help! Is this normal for a private Residential Treatment Center (RTC)?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 746199" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is a start. Phase One.</p><p></p><p>You are in a conversation with him now. There will be other disclosures. He has realizations, yes. The beginnings of awareness.</p><p></p><p>But what has not happened is, one, his awareness of why he targeted you, what motivated his running away, what motivated his self-destructive behavior, his unwillingness to follow rules, or control his behavior, his turning towards bad elements, i.e. drugs and gangs, etc. He needs to fess up in treatment to all of this. </p><p></p><p>And then, how does he begin to make better choices? How does he gain self-control over behavior? </p><p></p><p>All of this is a process. It does not happen all at once. It is work.</p><p></p><p>You need to keep this front and center so that you do not feel guilty or wrong, because you do not bring him home.</p><p></p><p>You are doing what a good mother should do.</p><p></p><p>I hope you have somebody to talk to where you are, that helps you get through this. Yes. Your needs and safety are important and central. But you are taking care of HIS needs too, to ensure he gets the treatment he requires.</p><p></p><p>When you talk to L I believe you can converse about all of this. It is both fair, and justified and helpful to him that you explain to him that you understand what he needs and you will make sure that it happens. And that you will neither be manipulated or swayed by his emotion or your own, from doing the right thing by him, and by you.</p><p></p><p>These things happened. They cannot be made to un-happen. There is no abracadabra. Life exists today because of what happened over the last couple of years. They do not define L. But he needs to take responsibility for what happened and learn to do better, and be better. That is what our job is as a parent. This will make him a very decent and strong person. If he deals with it. </p><p></p><p>You are doing this B. Good for you!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 746199, member: 18958"] This is a start. Phase One. You are in a conversation with him now. There will be other disclosures. He has realizations, yes. The beginnings of awareness. But what has not happened is, one, his awareness of why he targeted you, what motivated his running away, what motivated his self-destructive behavior, his unwillingness to follow rules, or control his behavior, his turning towards bad elements, i.e. drugs and gangs, etc. He needs to fess up in treatment to all of this. And then, how does he begin to make better choices? How does he gain self-control over behavior? All of this is a process. It does not happen all at once. It is work. You need to keep this front and center so that you do not feel guilty or wrong, because you do not bring him home. You are doing what a good mother should do. I hope you have somebody to talk to where you are, that helps you get through this. Yes. Your needs and safety are important and central. But you are taking care of HIS needs too, to ensure he gets the treatment he requires. When you talk to L I believe you can converse about all of this. It is both fair, and justified and helpful to him that you explain to him that you understand what he needs and you will make sure that it happens. And that you will neither be manipulated or swayed by his emotion or your own, from doing the right thing by him, and by you. These things happened. They cannot be made to un-happen. There is no abracadabra. Life exists today because of what happened over the last couple of years. They do not define L. But he needs to take responsibility for what happened and learn to do better, and be better. That is what our job is as a parent. This will make him a very decent and strong person. If he deals with it. You are doing this B. Good for you!! [/QUOTE]
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Help! Is this normal for a private Residential Treatment Center (RTC)?
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