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Help! Is this normal for a private Residential Treatment Center (RTC)?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 746210" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Sometimes children hold their parents responsible for what happens to them. I think part of the reason they do so, is this (it's kind of a long explanation. Sorry): Children cannot believe in a random world. It would be too terrifying. They need to believe that there is cause and effect. That if they do this, this will happen. If they are good, they will be protected. If they are punished, i.e. something bad happens, that they were bad.</p><p></p><p>When trauma happens, they experience it as their fault, that they were bad. Their brains are not typically well enough developed to understand a great deal of complexity, to make sense of it. They also tend to be egocentric and to believe that they are responsible than they really are.</p><p></p><p>If something horrible happens, this would overwhelm their egos, and it would really fracture their world. There are ego defense mechanisms called projection and displacement, where we believe that others not ourselves are responsible for a bad act. Or badness that we feel is in us, is in somebody else, or about somebody else. In this way we defend against this overwhelm.</p><p></p><p>It is arguable that L thought about his mother in this way. Distortions. (This actually makes sense to me.)</p><p></p><p>I catch myself using defense mechanisms all of the time, unfortunately for me. But I use more primitive ones like denial. When my animals are sick I seem to be willfully blind. I feel terrible. I watched Stella get thinner and thinner. I could not take it in. I did the same thing with Dolly. Honestly. I could not see that she was not standing up properly. Neither did M! I feel terrible. I miss her so much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 746210, member: 18958"] Sometimes children hold their parents responsible for what happens to them. I think part of the reason they do so, is this (it's kind of a long explanation. Sorry): Children cannot believe in a random world. It would be too terrifying. They need to believe that there is cause and effect. That if they do this, this will happen. If they are good, they will be protected. If they are punished, i.e. something bad happens, that they were bad. When trauma happens, they experience it as their fault, that they were bad. Their brains are not typically well enough developed to understand a great deal of complexity, to make sense of it. They also tend to be egocentric and to believe that they are responsible than they really are. If something horrible happens, this would overwhelm their egos, and it would really fracture their world. There are ego defense mechanisms called projection and displacement, where we believe that others not ourselves are responsible for a bad act. Or badness that we feel is in us, is in somebody else, or about somebody else. In this way we defend against this overwhelm. It is arguable that L thought about his mother in this way. Distortions. (This actually makes sense to me.) I catch myself using defense mechanisms all of the time, unfortunately for me. But I use more primitive ones like denial. When my animals are sick I seem to be willfully blind. I feel terrible. I watched Stella get thinner and thinner. I could not take it in. I did the same thing with Dolly. Honestly. I could not see that she was not standing up properly. Neither did M! I feel terrible. I miss her so much. [/QUOTE]
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