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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 466632" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Contracts are awesome for PCs. For difficult children, though, they're not worth the paper they're written on. been there done that...</p><p></p><p>Kathy - the very most important thing here is that I'm sending you gentle hugs. You're NOT a bad mom... If difficult child was horribly ill (physically, say appendicitis) and hospitalized, would you waver about taking her home before treatment? It's the same thing, in a way - just because you cannot <em>see</em> it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Heck, I don't even know where my appendix is.</p><p></p><p>A good parent does everything they can to help their child. That's what you're doing! Caving and allowing her to come home would just hurt her, so your standing firm is the best thing you can do. And if the counselor <em>does</em> say she's good to come home? Well, she's old enough to have her OWN home.</p><p></p><p>I moved out of my parents' at age 21, and back at age 28... For 2 months, till I found a job (I came back from out of state when I left my XH) and an apartment. I wanted to continue to love and respect them, which wasn't going to happen living with them. I'd been on my own too long.</p><p></p><p>She's saying that doing whatever she wants to do (being independent) is GOOD - but you need to do X, Y, and Z (as well as A through W) for her - which is NOT independence. It's manipulation.</p><p></p><p>STAY STRONG! More gentle hugs, hon.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 466632, member: 6705"] Contracts are awesome for PCs. For difficult children, though, they're not worth the paper they're written on. been there done that... Kathy - the very most important thing here is that I'm sending you gentle hugs. You're NOT a bad mom... If difficult child was horribly ill (physically, say appendicitis) and hospitalized, would you waver about taking her home before treatment? It's the same thing, in a way - just because you cannot [I]see[/I] it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Heck, I don't even know where my appendix is. A good parent does everything they can to help their child. That's what you're doing! Caving and allowing her to come home would just hurt her, so your standing firm is the best thing you can do. And if the counselor [I]does[/I] say she's good to come home? Well, she's old enough to have her OWN home. I moved out of my parents' at age 21, and back at age 28... For 2 months, till I found a job (I came back from out of state when I left my XH) and an apartment. I wanted to continue to love and respect them, which wasn't going to happen living with them. I'd been on my own too long. She's saying that doing whatever she wants to do (being independent) is GOOD - but you need to do X, Y, and Z (as well as A through W) for her - which is NOT independence. It's manipulation. STAY STRONG! More gentle hugs, hon. [/QUOTE]
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