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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 413025" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Should you help him one more time? No. </p><p> </p><p>You did help him one more time -by trusting him the other day when he took your ATM card for pot, and not charging him with stealing and having him arrested. He 'should' be in jail. SO therefore? You did help him. At that point it was your choice, but I'm not too sure how many others here would have handled it. Our house probably would have thrown him out there and then. Not probably - WOULD have. </p><p> </p><p>But you relented, worried about what to do - and he STOLE AGAIN? And you are worried about it? So he throws in the "OH I'll end up in the hospital" card? Well you know what? When he does? Tell him to put you down as a contact and you'll come see him. If he's that bad off right now and you think he's suicidal? Call 911. (danger to self) Have them come and get him NOW. That way he can go by ambulance for suicide attempt, they will put him into a suicide watch, maybe he'll get some counseling, and they can figure out where to place him after he gets out. </p><p> </p><p>If it's a bluff or an attempt to continue to stay in your house so perhaps he can - take candlesticks to the pawn shop, or maybe get more expensive merchandise stolen by friends - because he owes BIGGER drug dealers and he won't be responsible - they just "followed him home" and Took what they wanted - or came in the middle of the night and borrowed your car, or worse......then sure - allow him to continue to stay there. </p><p> </p><p>If you are really 'worried' about a man that is stealing from you NOT having a place to live and throwing your child out on the street and how he's treated YOU in kind? Then call the local mens shelter and get the hours of operation FOR him - and give him cab fare or DROP him off. </p><p> </p><p>Possibly he could call the people he got the POT off of and couch surf for a while until he is established with a job = I mean he has been buying drugs with ----some type of income - where is he getting THAT? Not a job? Okay - someone has been supporting him - who? </p><p> </p><p>I'd also provide him with the number for labor=ready or labor=force work a day, get paid a day places.....</p><p> </p><p>Then I'd make sure he understood you don't want paid back - just get out. As far as "His" stuff - bag it up - hand him garbage bags and if he doesn't want to bag it up - HELP him. </p><p> </p><p>PUT it OUTSIDE where he doesn't have to come INSIDE to help himself to anything else of YOURs - </p><p> </p><p>Change the locks - check the windows.....and explain that if he is caught on the property without calling prior? you WILL have him arrested for trespassing, and you are letting friends and neighbors know. </p><p> </p><p>OR..........</p><p> </p><p>Continue to let him live there, forgive him for stealing twice from you with BS excuses, keep paying his way, buying his food, letting him live there rent free, expect nothing out of him - and you'll get a grown man that expects nothing out of himself. </p><p> </p><p>Just an observation. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs - I know it stinks - but I won't tolerate a thief that I put up, support and forgive - then steals again. First time? I can forgive? Second time? No maam.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 413025, member: 4964"] Should you help him one more time? No. You did help him one more time -by trusting him the other day when he took your ATM card for pot, and not charging him with stealing and having him arrested. He 'should' be in jail. SO therefore? You did help him. At that point it was your choice, but I'm not too sure how many others here would have handled it. Our house probably would have thrown him out there and then. Not probably - WOULD have. But you relented, worried about what to do - and he STOLE AGAIN? And you are worried about it? So he throws in the "OH I'll end up in the hospital" card? Well you know what? When he does? Tell him to put you down as a contact and you'll come see him. If he's that bad off right now and you think he's suicidal? Call 911. (danger to self) Have them come and get him NOW. That way he can go by ambulance for suicide attempt, they will put him into a suicide watch, maybe he'll get some counseling, and they can figure out where to place him after he gets out. If it's a bluff or an attempt to continue to stay in your house so perhaps he can - take candlesticks to the pawn shop, or maybe get more expensive merchandise stolen by friends - because he owes BIGGER drug dealers and he won't be responsible - they just "followed him home" and Took what they wanted - or came in the middle of the night and borrowed your car, or worse......then sure - allow him to continue to stay there. If you are really 'worried' about a man that is stealing from you NOT having a place to live and throwing your child out on the street and how he's treated YOU in kind? Then call the local mens shelter and get the hours of operation FOR him - and give him cab fare or DROP him off. Possibly he could call the people he got the POT off of and couch surf for a while until he is established with a job = I mean he has been buying drugs with ----some type of income - where is he getting THAT? Not a job? Okay - someone has been supporting him - who? I'd also provide him with the number for labor=ready or labor=force work a day, get paid a day places..... Then I'd make sure he understood you don't want paid back - just get out. As far as "His" stuff - bag it up - hand him garbage bags and if he doesn't want to bag it up - HELP him. PUT it OUTSIDE where he doesn't have to come INSIDE to help himself to anything else of YOURs - Change the locks - check the windows.....and explain that if he is caught on the property without calling prior? you WILL have him arrested for trespassing, and you are letting friends and neighbors know. OR.......... Continue to let him live there, forgive him for stealing twice from you with BS excuses, keep paying his way, buying his food, letting him live there rent free, expect nothing out of him - and you'll get a grown man that expects nothing out of himself. Just an observation. Hugs - I know it stinks - but I won't tolerate a thief that I put up, support and forgive - then steals again. First time? I can forgive? Second time? No maam. [/QUOTE]
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