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Help with 9 year old daugher
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<blockquote data-quote="Buglover" data-source="post: 515946" data-attributes="member: 14112"><p>Hi Lanelly7, </p><p>I wanted to mention one other thing that works for us, that we figured out when she was a baby and we found out later it actually works to reset their system in a way. ANd that is you give them a big, long, firm hug with a good squeeze action. Now I know it may be the very last thing you feel like doing (more like running and screaming the opposite direction sometimes) but it just works for a lot of kids. Something about over-riding nerve impulses with other nerve impulses, somebody on here will know the right terminology. My daughter is also an attention seeker, she cant stand being ignored and it does make it worse if you try to ignore them. But when you give her a good hard hug and tell her you love her she will just suddenly go limp and be all quiet and relaxed. Now she will even just stand next to us and say "You need to hug me now". I am not sure how this will fly when she is 15 but for now we just wing it as we go until we get her in Occupational Therapist (OT), she is on a wait list.</p><p></p><p>Also, I know there is a school of thought that when they are kicking/screaming they are being "brats" but honestly I think she is also trying to tell you that she DOES need your attention, she is NOT ok, she is not handling the stresses of life well, etc. So maybe for some kids it is a form of manipulation but for some kids they are genuinely trying to tell you they need help, whether that means a hug, your undivided attention, occupational therapy, or prozac. One thing I figured out very quickly is that my parents generation would not have tolerated my daughter at all, I shudder to think what would have happened to her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Buglover, post: 515946, member: 14112"] Hi Lanelly7, I wanted to mention one other thing that works for us, that we figured out when she was a baby and we found out later it actually works to reset their system in a way. ANd that is you give them a big, long, firm hug with a good squeeze action. Now I know it may be the very last thing you feel like doing (more like running and screaming the opposite direction sometimes) but it just works for a lot of kids. Something about over-riding nerve impulses with other nerve impulses, somebody on here will know the right terminology. My daughter is also an attention seeker, she cant stand being ignored and it does make it worse if you try to ignore them. But when you give her a good hard hug and tell her you love her she will just suddenly go limp and be all quiet and relaxed. Now she will even just stand next to us and say "You need to hug me now". I am not sure how this will fly when she is 15 but for now we just wing it as we go until we get her in Occupational Therapist (OT), she is on a wait list. Also, I know there is a school of thought that when they are kicking/screaming they are being "brats" but honestly I think she is also trying to tell you that she DOES need your attention, she is NOT ok, she is not handling the stresses of life well, etc. So maybe for some kids it is a form of manipulation but for some kids they are genuinely trying to tell you they need help, whether that means a hug, your undivided attention, occupational therapy, or prozac. One thing I figured out very quickly is that my parents generation would not have tolerated my daughter at all, I shudder to think what would have happened to her. [/QUOTE]
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