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Help with pedophile teenager
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 703991" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>G Jane, I have been disgusted by the things my oldest son did. Nobody used porn in my house, except him. And he liked to steal my ex's credit card to watch online porn and force his little sister to watch it with him. She was eight. When I was at work, in between school being over and my coming home from work, he had a few hours to torture my daughter who was afraid to tell on him, but they are adults now and my son is still a 40 year old problem and my sweet daughter, and my other two kids, want nothing to do with him. He is alone. And he os ok with that. He doesn't care about them.</p><p></p><p>When you have a kid who is sexually acting out in inappropriate ways plus other kids...this is way different than having one child...in my opinion the first priority needs to be the other kids. We can not allow the others to remain victims, even if the now dangerous child was also a victim.</p><p></p><p> A victim can sadly turn into a perpetrator. Molesters for example have almost all been molested. That doesn't make the molester any safer because he was once the victim.</p><p></p><p>I believe your assessment of your oldest child. My oldest child was never right in the empathy department and although he was never diagnosed, he is really up there in narcicistic traits. Except for his son, a clone of himself, he cares for nobody in the right way and has abused and used so many woman plus his patents. I think your gut is probably, sadly right.</p><p></p><p>My son was in therapy from age 8.</p><p></p><p>We found tons of porn on his computer after he was forced by me to move in with my ex or hit the streets. A few times he became physically threatening and at the time I was divorced and afraid of his aggession. There was no child porn on the computer, but so much porn..it was not in the normal range.</p><p></p><p>You'd think if think my kids who lived through both oldest son and abusive foster child would be messed up, but they are great, loving, thriving adults. The victim kids of our other kids matter. My kids tell me that ending the threats made them love me more and honestly my relationship to those three adult kids couldn't be tighter or better. They saw me protecting them eben when their brother was involved and it mattered.</p><p></p><p>The other kids need to see us make sure the dangerous child is somewhere else, no longer around them. Then, if we know of a place, we can find help for damaged child while they no longer live with us. While our other kids can call home a sanctuary.</p><p></p><p> Maybe your son gets better, but if a child has no empathy, it's a long shot. And heredity comes into play. I hatr to spund negative. I dont know that pne csn develop empathy. I hope sp for your sons sake and yours.</p><p></p><p>I think you are where I was, baffled that my own child was like this but aware that he was. I didn't give up hope, and he got better at hiding his lack of empathy as he got older, but he still doesn't have any.</p><p></p><p>My own father is like him in the empathy department . I love my son and my father, but I am very aware both are empathy limited. Both lash out in extreme anger and have tantrums. My Dad is 92. My son is 39.</p><p></p><p>My ex was a gentle man and we are still friends.</p><p></p><p>Protect the triplets first.</p><p></p><p>It is very different parenting a difficult person when you have no other kids than when you do. It's more complicated.</p><p></p><p>Your ex sounds like a big loser but your son sounds very scary as well. Help him, but please make sure your other kids don't need to live with him again.</p><p></p><p>Many hugs and I so feel for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 703991, member: 1550"] G Jane, I have been disgusted by the things my oldest son did. Nobody used porn in my house, except him. And he liked to steal my ex's credit card to watch online porn and force his little sister to watch it with him. She was eight. When I was at work, in between school being over and my coming home from work, he had a few hours to torture my daughter who was afraid to tell on him, but they are adults now and my son is still a 40 year old problem and my sweet daughter, and my other two kids, want nothing to do with him. He is alone. And he os ok with that. He doesn't care about them. When you have a kid who is sexually acting out in inappropriate ways plus other kids...this is way different than having one child...in my opinion the first priority needs to be the other kids. We can not allow the others to remain victims, even if the now dangerous child was also a victim. A victim can sadly turn into a perpetrator. Molesters for example have almost all been molested. That doesn't make the molester any safer because he was once the victim. I believe your assessment of your oldest child. My oldest child was never right in the empathy department and although he was never diagnosed, he is really up there in narcicistic traits. Except for his son, a clone of himself, he cares for nobody in the right way and has abused and used so many woman plus his patents. I think your gut is probably, sadly right. My son was in therapy from age 8. We found tons of porn on his computer after he was forced by me to move in with my ex or hit the streets. A few times he became physically threatening and at the time I was divorced and afraid of his aggession. There was no child porn on the computer, but so much porn..it was not in the normal range. You'd think if think my kids who lived through both oldest son and abusive foster child would be messed up, but they are great, loving, thriving adults. The victim kids of our other kids matter. My kids tell me that ending the threats made them love me more and honestly my relationship to those three adult kids couldn't be tighter or better. They saw me protecting them eben when their brother was involved and it mattered. The other kids need to see us make sure the dangerous child is somewhere else, no longer around them. Then, if we know of a place, we can find help for damaged child while they no longer live with us. While our other kids can call home a sanctuary. Maybe your son gets better, but if a child has no empathy, it's a long shot. And heredity comes into play. I hatr to spund negative. I dont know that pne csn develop empathy. I hope sp for your sons sake and yours. I think you are where I was, baffled that my own child was like this but aware that he was. I didn't give up hope, and he got better at hiding his lack of empathy as he got older, but he still doesn't have any. My own father is like him in the empathy department . I love my son and my father, but I am very aware both are empathy limited. Both lash out in extreme anger and have tantrums. My Dad is 92. My son is 39. My ex was a gentle man and we are still friends. Protect the triplets first. It is very different parenting a difficult person when you have no other kids than when you do. It's more complicated. Your ex sounds like a big loser but your son sounds very scary as well. Help him, but please make sure your other kids don't need to live with him again. Many hugs and I so feel for you. [/QUOTE]
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