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Help with pedophile teenager
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<blockquote data-quote="gijane" data-source="post: 704013" data-attributes="member: 21121"><p>The best thing about this forum is that none of you seem to bat an eye at the horrific nature of my post! And I can speak freely, more so than I have ever been able to regarding my thoughts and fears.</p><p></p><p>What his father has done is deplorable. And in so many ways, as J was growing up, he let his children down. J is most like him, a clone, so now it makes sense that he is coming to his rescue. But I agree. He was an accomplice all along in failing to understand the importance of supervision. It was far easier burying his head in the sand, allowing me to do ll the discipline. I left the marriage when they ere 6, because I realized I'd be on my own, and all he was was another child to raise. And detrimental to their upbringing. </p><p>I can say it was the best decision I ever made. But my son, as a victim too, always had issues. From behavioral early on, and generally not right. My other three are the most loving and generous children you would ever hope to meet. So I know I did some things right. </p><p>I don't like to think of my son as a bad seed. But the nagging feeling in my gut has always feared this. The lack of empathy, disrespect of others things and spaces has grown to sacrificing them to more predators, as many of you have said. That is sinister. And as he has grown older, the devious nature of his personality has increased. What mother wants to believe she has birthed and raised a person capable of such evil? </p><p>He is worse than his father by the nature of his crimes. How it started, or when it turned to this is anyone's guess. But I must admit the truth to myself. Things HAVE always felt off. I thought I could love him enough or provide enough boundaries so he would learn. The others did. Instead, he decided to use what I modeled as a way to hurt his family for his own gains. He betrayed us all. </p><p>It's difficult to feel bad for him and know his life has been turned upside down, because he knew full well what he was doing behind the scenes. And ALWAYS made himself out the the persecuted one, the victim. And he knows how to work it with his mother. </p><p>All BS. </p><p>I know if I talked to him now, he would try to BS himself out of trouble. Everything is all a big misunderstanding. No, sorry. I'm not buying any of it ever again.</p><p>And truth be told, I think it's over. I so want to believe he can be rehabilitated. But the lack of empathy is right on cue with a real psychopathic nature. The length he will go to in order to convince others he is a victim is unreal. </p><p>The sinister nature of his personality is a part of him, sadly. And as much as I want think there's hope, a part of me thinks that I see the real J now for what he is. I'm not giving up hope. I still have it. But it will be from a safe distance, and I fear I will never believe him again.</p><p>The lesson to learn from this for me is to blow the taboo subject of pedophilia out of the water - also, that you can be a damned good parent and still have a child who is born with some character disorder. No matter how well he/she is raised, there are no guarantees. </p><p>Thank you all again for your support and ideas.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gijane, post: 704013, member: 21121"] The best thing about this forum is that none of you seem to bat an eye at the horrific nature of my post! And I can speak freely, more so than I have ever been able to regarding my thoughts and fears. What his father has done is deplorable. And in so many ways, as J was growing up, he let his children down. J is most like him, a clone, so now it makes sense that he is coming to his rescue. But I agree. He was an accomplice all along in failing to understand the importance of supervision. It was far easier burying his head in the sand, allowing me to do ll the discipline. I left the marriage when they ere 6, because I realized I'd be on my own, and all he was was another child to raise. And detrimental to their upbringing. I can say it was the best decision I ever made. But my son, as a victim too, always had issues. From behavioral early on, and generally not right. My other three are the most loving and generous children you would ever hope to meet. So I know I did some things right. I don't like to think of my son as a bad seed. But the nagging feeling in my gut has always feared this. The lack of empathy, disrespect of others things and spaces has grown to sacrificing them to more predators, as many of you have said. That is sinister. And as he has grown older, the devious nature of his personality has increased. What mother wants to believe she has birthed and raised a person capable of such evil? He is worse than his father by the nature of his crimes. How it started, or when it turned to this is anyone's guess. But I must admit the truth to myself. Things HAVE always felt off. I thought I could love him enough or provide enough boundaries so he would learn. The others did. Instead, he decided to use what I modeled as a way to hurt his family for his own gains. He betrayed us all. It's difficult to feel bad for him and know his life has been turned upside down, because he knew full well what he was doing behind the scenes. And ALWAYS made himself out the the persecuted one, the victim. And he knows how to work it with his mother. All BS. I know if I talked to him now, he would try to BS himself out of trouble. Everything is all a big misunderstanding. No, sorry. I'm not buying any of it ever again. And truth be told, I think it's over. I so want to believe he can be rehabilitated. But the lack of empathy is right on cue with a real psychopathic nature. The length he will go to in order to convince others he is a victim is unreal. The sinister nature of his personality is a part of him, sadly. And as much as I want think there's hope, a part of me thinks that I see the real J now for what he is. I'm not giving up hope. I still have it. But it will be from a safe distance, and I fear I will never believe him again. The lesson to learn from this for me is to blow the taboo subject of pedophilia out of the water - also, that you can be a damned good parent and still have a child who is born with some character disorder. No matter how well he/she is raised, there are no guarantees. Thank you all again for your support and ideas. [/QUOTE]
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