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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 751103" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>He will be 31 in a month. Hard to believe.</p><p></p><p>I think with my heart too. The thing is I have gotten softer and softer. I know it doesn't sound like it, but it is so. I cannot stand it when my son is homeless. I can't. But I feel even more strongly that I am responsible by my own choices to support him to become a good man and to be as functional as he can be. And I am in a tough spot. We don't have other family. When I die, my son will be alone. Absolutely, I need to do whatever I can do to support my son to stand on his own two feet and have better judgement. When I am no longer here. I worry about this terribly.</p><p></p><p>My son has not worked for years and years. His lifestyle as homeless has torn him down, given him horrible habits, and degraded him. But he had to get to the point where he was willing to cooperate at least some. To not be so aggressive to me. To obey rules. To recognize that things are required of us in life. And this is why I took the stand that I did. And also because I could not tolerate being around my son. The way he treated me. And how he lived. But none of this has anything to do with love. That book, <u>The Heart is a Lonely Hunter.</u> That pretty much sums it up for me.</p><p></p><p>Terry. I would love it if you keep posting here. Here is a good way to grow stronger. I know I have. It's not so much getting advice. It's because we get to know each other and each other's children, and we care. And when we write to each other we come to see ourselves in a different way. We come to see ourselves as stronger. We grow.</p><p></p><p>Anyway. Take care. You can do this.</p><p></p><p>I feel very clear that it is NOT in your son's interest that you rescue him from this. To let him deal with this is the loving thing to do. I know it is hard. But that's what I believe. He can do it. I believe that you should support him to try. If he has a hard time there is support in the community for him. My son for a time lived in a sober living house through the Rescue Mission. For indigent people it was totally free.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 751103, member: 18958"] He will be 31 in a month. Hard to believe. I think with my heart too. The thing is I have gotten softer and softer. I know it doesn't sound like it, but it is so. I cannot stand it when my son is homeless. I can't. But I feel even more strongly that I am responsible by my own choices to support him to become a good man and to be as functional as he can be. And I am in a tough spot. We don't have other family. When I die, my son will be alone. Absolutely, I need to do whatever I can do to support my son to stand on his own two feet and have better judgement. When I am no longer here. I worry about this terribly. My son has not worked for years and years. His lifestyle as homeless has torn him down, given him horrible habits, and degraded him. But he had to get to the point where he was willing to cooperate at least some. To not be so aggressive to me. To obey rules. To recognize that things are required of us in life. And this is why I took the stand that I did. And also because I could not tolerate being around my son. The way he treated me. And how he lived. But none of this has anything to do with love. That book, [U]The Heart is a Lonely Hunter.[/U] That pretty much sums it up for me. Terry. I would love it if you keep posting here. Here is a good way to grow stronger. I know I have. It's not so much getting advice. It's because we get to know each other and each other's children, and we care. And when we write to each other we come to see ourselves in a different way. We come to see ourselves as stronger. We grow. Anyway. Take care. You can do this. I feel very clear that it is NOT in your son's interest that you rescue him from this. To let him deal with this is the loving thing to do. I know it is hard. But that's what I believe. He can do it. I believe that you should support him to try. If he has a hard time there is support in the community for him. My son for a time lived in a sober living house through the Rescue Mission. For indigent people it was totally free. [/QUOTE]
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