My first husband would pick up his kids, then take off with his brother, who also dropped off his daughter, leaving me with four kids to take care of. I would put my foot down and tell husband not just no, but h3ll no! The purpose of visitation is to spend time with the non custodial parent, not the stepmom. You have valid concerns, and are not being heard. Make it clear to husband.
Hugs and good luck.
