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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 761930" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Hi. I am so very sorry for your pain. We too adopted from abroad and our daughter feels similar to your son. She however sees herself as more a victim than survivor. She became abusive to all of us.</p><p></p><p> My daughter never did benefit from all we did for her nor did she ever feel a part of our family, which includes two younger siblings, our biological children. Kay is very different from the rest of us. Heredity really overcame nurture here. We are quiet, non confrontational and bookish. She is VERY loud and combative and flamboyant and not one for school. She has a musical gift, which she won't use. None of the rest of us have music in our bones, and Kay could have done something wonderful with her gift. But she didn't. Her beautiful voice is now ruined from smoking.</p><p></p><p> It is interesting that so many parents who come here have adopted adult children. It's a disproportionate amount. And most are now homeless and unwilling to follow societal rules. Drugs are big with them too. Don't know if it's part of attachment disorders or what. I was told by a therapist who specialized in adoption that a huge amount of adopted children have attachment disorders. Kay certainly does.</p><p></p><p>My daughter is homeless now. She has estranged us because we closed The Bank of Mom and Dad. It is actually more peaceful now. She is far away from us by her choice. She doesn't contact anyone even though her sister has custody of her son. She left him behind and never checks up on him anymore. My other daughter wants to adopt him.</p><p></p><p>I hope your story is more successful than ours. I wish you love and send hugs and blessings. I do not believe we would have adopted had we seen how this had turned out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 761930, member: 23706"] Hi. I am so very sorry for your pain. We too adopted from abroad and our daughter feels similar to your son. She however sees herself as more a victim than survivor. She became abusive to all of us. My daughter never did benefit from all we did for her nor did she ever feel a part of our family, which includes two younger siblings, our biological children. Kay is very different from the rest of us. Heredity really overcame nurture here. We are quiet, non confrontational and bookish. She is VERY loud and combative and flamboyant and not one for school. She has a musical gift, which she won't use. None of the rest of us have music in our bones, and Kay could have done something wonderful with her gift. But she didn't. Her beautiful voice is now ruined from smoking. It is interesting that so many parents who come here have adopted adult children. It's a disproportionate amount. And most are now homeless and unwilling to follow societal rules. Drugs are big with them too. Don't know if it's part of attachment disorders or what. I was told by a therapist who specialized in adoption that a huge amount of adopted children have attachment disorders. Kay certainly does. My daughter is homeless now. She has estranged us because we closed The Bank of Mom and Dad. It is actually more peaceful now. She is far away from us by her choice. She doesn't contact anyone even though her sister has custody of her son. She left him behind and never checks up on him anymore. My other daughter wants to adopt him. I hope your story is more successful than ours. I wish you love and send hugs and blessings. I do not believe we would have adopted had we seen how this had turned out. [/QUOTE]
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