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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 761932" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Hi again. After rereading your story....I wonder how much you know about your son's birthparents. Do you know if BM drank during her pregnancy? This is common in Russian adoption...fetal alcohol spectrum. If you have some history (we do not) often we can figure out some of the "whys" and have a better idea how to handle our child and our own deep emotions when our beloved child acts strangely. I am starting to read up on fetal alcohol spectrum because I want to understand what may have caused Kay to be seemingly unable to learn from her mistakes. I don't feel it's 100% willful bad choices. She is extremely impulsive and seems unable to follow normal rules. Not won't. Can't. This is consistent with being exposed to alcohol in utero. But we will never know. And it is also consistent with other things....poor attachment being a biggie too (tired sigh,). We loved her and still do in a special way. My two other children tell me they used to think she was the favorite because we were so focused on her. Please make sure you make time for your other child...it is easy to let the troubled one suck all the oxygen out of our worlds. Most of all, be kind to yourself. You matter!</p><p></p><p>Sending every single blessing in my heart and soul. Hoping your son benefits from all the love you show him ❤</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 761932, member: 23706"] Hi again. After rereading your story....I wonder how much you know about your son's birthparents. Do you know if BM drank during her pregnancy? This is common in Russian adoption...fetal alcohol spectrum. If you have some history (we do not) often we can figure out some of the "whys" and have a better idea how to handle our child and our own deep emotions when our beloved child acts strangely. I am starting to read up on fetal alcohol spectrum because I want to understand what may have caused Kay to be seemingly unable to learn from her mistakes. I don't feel it's 100% willful bad choices. She is extremely impulsive and seems unable to follow normal rules. Not won't. Can't. This is consistent with being exposed to alcohol in utero. But we will never know. And it is also consistent with other things....poor attachment being a biggie too (tired sigh,). We loved her and still do in a special way. My two other children tell me they used to think she was the favorite because we were so focused on her. Please make sure you make time for your other child...it is easy to let the troubled one suck all the oxygen out of our worlds. Most of all, be kind to yourself. You matter! Sending every single blessing in my heart and soul. Hoping your son benefits from all the love you show him ❤ [/QUOTE]
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