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<blockquote data-quote="Roxona" data-source="post: 681868" data-attributes="member: 19076"><p>I'm sorry for your shock and your pain. Like COPA I wish I could reach through the screen to give you a hug. I didn't know about detaching until after my son had gone through rehab. So, I lived it every day and fought against it every day until he was so out of control I had to kick him out. He was killing himself...he and I both knew it. We gave him the ultimatum of going to rehab in order to come home. He did and has stayed away from meth ever since. </p><p></p><p>Keep talking with your son. Keep telling him you love him and his life matters. Try to stay positive and don't let him cross your boundaries. If my son wanted to talk, I would talk, but if it became a negativity fest or if he was trying to verbally attack me, I would stop the conversation. I don't give cash, but will put gas in his car if he does something to earn it. Otherwise, no other money is given.</p><p></p><p>After rehab, I learned about lovingly detaching. In this way I can still be there for the positive stuff and show my support, without putting up with the tirades and constant worry. Sometimes it's hard to do, but it's better than being frozen by fear and worry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Roxona, post: 681868, member: 19076"] I'm sorry for your shock and your pain. Like COPA I wish I could reach through the screen to give you a hug. I didn't know about detaching until after my son had gone through rehab. So, I lived it every day and fought against it every day until he was so out of control I had to kick him out. He was killing himself...he and I both knew it. We gave him the ultimatum of going to rehab in order to come home. He did and has stayed away from meth ever since. Keep talking with your son. Keep telling him you love him and his life matters. Try to stay positive and don't let him cross your boundaries. If my son wanted to talk, I would talk, but if it became a negativity fest or if he was trying to verbally attack me, I would stop the conversation. I don't give cash, but will put gas in his car if he does something to earn it. Otherwise, no other money is given. After rehab, I learned about lovingly detaching. In this way I can still be there for the positive stuff and show my support, without putting up with the tirades and constant worry. Sometimes it's hard to do, but it's better than being frozen by fear and worry. [/QUOTE]
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