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He's been kicked out of the shelter
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 643335" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This is such a good post, IC.</p><p></p><p>If my easy child calls me in tears, like she did this year, it is so unusual and rare and she is so self-sufficient that I KNEW SHE WAS REALLY IN TROUBLE!!! Yes, we came running because it is so unusual for her not to be able to handle things herself and she is only eighteen. I would do the same for my thirty year old in Illinois, but she has never asked me to run out. She calls me on the phone and cries to me maybe once a year or even less, but she always resolves it herself. My son is in Missouri.</p><p></p><p>Sonic, with his autistic spectrum, is a mile from us in his own apartment and he calls a lot but has NEVER asked us to rush over to help him. He always puts it like this: "I kind of need to shop, but it's ok if you can't. I guess I can wait" in a very cheery voice. If I can drive him, I do, or else he takes a cab. I am his payee so I make sure he gets his money. But even though he has a disablity he is quite independent from us and has learned how to use his supports. Would we go if he needed us? In a heartbeat.</p><p></p><p>37 calls me for every little thing. I enjoy talking to him when he is not in panic mode and being mean. So we talk. And he thinks I give him good advice. But I don't run over there, no matter what. He chose to move far away and I can't always hop a plane and be there for him. It would happen all the time. The more I did it, the more he'd have an emergency and need me just to fly out. He does use his dad, my ex, that way sometimes, but that is not my business. I just know I won't do it and that I don't feel it would be good for him for me to do it even if I could afford it. I am always there for emotional support, unless he is abusive. But money? He has a job. He spends too much. Not my fault. Running to him? By God, he is almost forty. It stopped long ago. And, again, he chose to move far away and now is stuck there because of his son who he has 50% of the time.</p><p></p><p>I am all about having wonderful golden years with as little chaos and drama as possible. I find that when I pull back from the drama, they find others to dump it on. If ex will do it, more power to him. He is fully retired with a lot of time and money and if he wants to be 37s ATM and savior, I don't care. The funny thng is, 37 is much closer to me and respects me more (shrug). He makes fun of my ex for doing his bidding. I asked ex if he ever talks about ME and he says, "Not really." But he talks to me about his dad all the time. "I'm grateful for all the money he gives me so I have to be nice to him, but he's sure a jerk. He is very hard to deal with and he doesn't GET anything I tell him. When he comes to visist me he doesn't even pay attention to Grandson. He just waches CNN. And Grandson loves him and wants to play with him, but he locks himself in his room. I don't get it. But I have to be nice to him in case I need to get money to go back to court." This is all true. And sad. </p><p></p><p>Anyhow, I'm signing off.</p><p></p><p>Very good insight once again to the wise Insane Canadian. At the very least, it sure resonated with ME <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 643335, member: 1550"] This is such a good post, IC. If my easy child calls me in tears, like she did this year, it is so unusual and rare and she is so self-sufficient that I KNEW SHE WAS REALLY IN TROUBLE!!! Yes, we came running because it is so unusual for her not to be able to handle things herself and she is only eighteen. I would do the same for my thirty year old in Illinois, but she has never asked me to run out. She calls me on the phone and cries to me maybe once a year or even less, but she always resolves it herself. My son is in Missouri. Sonic, with his autistic spectrum, is a mile from us in his own apartment and he calls a lot but has NEVER asked us to rush over to help him. He always puts it like this: "I kind of need to shop, but it's ok if you can't. I guess I can wait" in a very cheery voice. If I can drive him, I do, or else he takes a cab. I am his payee so I make sure he gets his money. But even though he has a disablity he is quite independent from us and has learned how to use his supports. Would we go if he needed us? In a heartbeat. 37 calls me for every little thing. I enjoy talking to him when he is not in panic mode and being mean. So we talk. And he thinks I give him good advice. But I don't run over there, no matter what. He chose to move far away and I can't always hop a plane and be there for him. It would happen all the time. The more I did it, the more he'd have an emergency and need me just to fly out. He does use his dad, my ex, that way sometimes, but that is not my business. I just know I won't do it and that I don't feel it would be good for him for me to do it even if I could afford it. I am always there for emotional support, unless he is abusive. But money? He has a job. He spends too much. Not my fault. Running to him? By God, he is almost forty. It stopped long ago. And, again, he chose to move far away and now is stuck there because of his son who he has 50% of the time. I am all about having wonderful golden years with as little chaos and drama as possible. I find that when I pull back from the drama, they find others to dump it on. If ex will do it, more power to him. He is fully retired with a lot of time and money and if he wants to be 37s ATM and savior, I don't care. The funny thng is, 37 is much closer to me and respects me more (shrug). He makes fun of my ex for doing his bidding. I asked ex if he ever talks about ME and he says, "Not really." But he talks to me about his dad all the time. "I'm grateful for all the money he gives me so I have to be nice to him, but he's sure a jerk. He is very hard to deal with and he doesn't GET anything I tell him. When he comes to visist me he doesn't even pay attention to Grandson. He just waches CNN. And Grandson loves him and wants to play with him, but he locks himself in his room. I don't get it. But I have to be nice to him in case I need to get money to go back to court." This is all true. And sad. Anyhow, I'm signing off. Very good insight once again to the wise Insane Canadian. At the very least, it sure resonated with ME :) [/QUOTE]
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