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He's been kicked out of the shelter
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 643338" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>This still seems to me as an attitude of "the rules don't apply to me". Sounds like a repeat of excuses of getting enough points to get himself kicked out of the shelter.</p><p>Lil, YOU have to be the first one to accept that these things he is doing are NOT excusable. When one starts a new job, promptness is expected so already being late once is certainly alarming to his boss that difficult child is not going to be reliable, which he is already proving by being late a second time (look at it from the boss's eyes 1-2 minutes is still a second "late", especially after he was warned the fist time,) Being a new hire, everything difficult child does or doesn't do on the job, right now, as a new hire, is being evaluated. There are lots of other unemployed people who would like to have his job, even if you don't think so.</p><p></p><p></p><p>For this, unless you and Jabber are ready to take him back, (which is probably his thought process anyway) if he has no job, can't go back to the shelter, the two of you will have no other options but to let him come home. He is still not getting it. What he is doing is different from what you are doing. This is not <em>catastrophizing</em>, for him this is: oh well if I fail, I guess I will get to go home. (whether he is really recognizing this or not)</p><p>The things you are hearing from him and <em>rationalizing </em>are the most flimsy excuses. I think both you and Jabber need to become more "drill Sargent" to him and less "rescue". He certainly still has you (not so much Jabber) wrapped around his little pinky. Don't you see it? </p><p>Still say he needs a "life Skills" class or mentoring from outside the family. How is his therapy going? Can you find another one that specializes in Behavioral Therapy?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 643338, member: 18366"] This still seems to me as an attitude of "the rules don't apply to me". Sounds like a repeat of excuses of getting enough points to get himself kicked out of the shelter. Lil, YOU have to be the first one to accept that these things he is doing are NOT excusable. When one starts a new job, promptness is expected so already being late once is certainly alarming to his boss that difficult child is not going to be reliable, which he is already proving by being late a second time (look at it from the boss's eyes 1-2 minutes is still a second "late", especially after he was warned the fist time,) Being a new hire, everything difficult child does or doesn't do on the job, right now, as a new hire, is being evaluated. There are lots of other unemployed people who would like to have his job, even if you don't think so. For this, unless you and Jabber are ready to take him back, (which is probably his thought process anyway) if he has no job, can't go back to the shelter, the two of you will have no other options but to let him come home. He is still not getting it. What he is doing is different from what you are doing. This is not [I]catastrophizing[/I], for him this is: oh well if I fail, I guess I will get to go home. (whether he is really recognizing this or not) The things you are hearing from him and [I]rationalizing [/I]are the most flimsy excuses. I think both you and Jabber need to become more "drill Sargent" to him and less "rescue". He certainly still has you (not so much Jabber) wrapped around his little pinky. Don't you see it? Still say he needs a "life Skills" class or mentoring from outside the family. How is his therapy going? Can you find another one that specializes in Behavioral Therapy? [/QUOTE]
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He's been kicked out of the shelter
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