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He's been kicked out of the shelter
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 643409" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>Lil, let me tell you something that I hope will help you understand where I am coming from. As I have freely posted here my daughter is a sociopath. Therefore there is not one trick game that has been played on me for control and manipulation. Where you are right now, in the deepest pain of it, not being able to understand it, is the way I would have to live EVER, SINGLE, DAY if I wanted a relationship with her. The thing is you get so damned tired of playing the game and people with either mental health and/or personality disorder, especially ones that are younger than you can just whip you <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> in head games. And the more you move your boundaries back, the more they push not only that boundary but they start chipping away at the next one. As I have acknowledged to you in other posts, I don't know if your son is a true difficult child <em>although the DNA is there </em>however I have read all of your posts and what he does do is push every single boundary you lay down for him. Whether he outgrows this or not is anyone's guess. However, you have another very important person who really does love you in your life, your husband. It is not fair of you to keep pushing on his boundaries because you are tired and afraid. It is not fair to force your husband to live with someone who acts the way your son acts just because that son has pushed himself (willing and fully knowing the rules) in to a huge, horrible box. </p><p>For me I can't live with the head-games and if you were as physically sick as I am you might not be able to either. </p><p>Where I do see similarities with my daughter and your son, is even if you think it is going to hurt them more than it will hurt you they are going to do what they want to do JUST TO push your buttons. That's right, they actually get more out of the situation having you hang by a thread then they do with any other consequence to themselves. It's a game they love and they are more determined to beat you at their mind-eff games than anything else they do. That is their own personal power. That IS their inner world. A world where they will get down and dirty and pull you right down with them for the fun of it. Does is feel fun? </p><p>No, of course not, but it's not your game and you are not invested in winning, lets say for this round "getting back into the house". You are invested in seeming him grow up and start acting like a man. He is not. Why behave and act "normal" when he can snap his fingers and get you to jump? </p><p>It's a lot more complicated than I am explaining it to you here, but trust me, I am on your side to see what you are dealing with. I have 20 years of this crap on you Lil, trust me I would never want anyone to have to walk this road. I just hope by sharing that you don't just blindly continue down the road your difficult child son is leading you. You don't deserve that and neither does your husband.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 643409, member: 18366"] Lil, let me tell you something that I hope will help you understand where I am coming from. As I have freely posted here my daughter is a sociopath. Therefore there is not one trick game that has been played on me for control and manipulation. Where you are right now, in the deepest pain of it, not being able to understand it, is the way I would have to live EVER, SINGLE, DAY if I wanted a relationship with her. The thing is you get so damned tired of playing the game and people with either mental health and/or personality disorder, especially ones that are younger than you can just whip you :censored2: in head games. And the more you move your boundaries back, the more they push not only that boundary but they start chipping away at the next one. As I have acknowledged to you in other posts, I don't know if your son is a true difficult child [I]although the DNA is there [/I]however I have read all of your posts and what he does do is push every single boundary you lay down for him. Whether he outgrows this or not is anyone's guess. However, you have another very important person who really does love you in your life, your husband. It is not fair of you to keep pushing on his boundaries because you are tired and afraid. It is not fair to force your husband to live with someone who acts the way your son acts just because that son has pushed himself (willing and fully knowing the rules) in to a huge, horrible box. For me I can't live with the head-games and if you were as physically sick as I am you might not be able to either. Where I do see similarities with my daughter and your son, is even if you think it is going to hurt them more than it will hurt you they are going to do what they want to do JUST TO push your buttons. That's right, they actually get more out of the situation having you hang by a thread then they do with any other consequence to themselves. It's a game they love and they are more determined to beat you at their mind-eff games than anything else they do. That is their own personal power. That IS their inner world. A world where they will get down and dirty and pull you right down with them for the fun of it. Does is feel fun? No, of course not, but it's not your game and you are not invested in winning, lets say for this round "getting back into the house". You are invested in seeming him grow up and start acting like a man. He is not. Why behave and act "normal" when he can snap his fingers and get you to jump? It's a lot more complicated than I am explaining it to you here, but trust me, I am on your side to see what you are dealing with. I have 20 years of this crap on you Lil, trust me I would never want anyone to have to walk this road. I just hope by sharing that you don't just blindly continue down the road your difficult child son is leading you. You don't deserve that and neither does your husband. [/QUOTE]
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