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He's been kicked out of the shelter
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 643410" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Lil, where is the friend staying? </p><p></p><p>Trying to know what to do when difficult child daughter was homeless in winter was one of the most harrowing experiences we have had. </p><p></p><p>Is renting a room at an Extended Stay or better yet, some very, very cheap dive a possibility? I am not suggesting the cheap dive to be mean. The other homeless people will be there in the room if you do rent one for him. Rent it cash so they don't have access to your credit card if you can. I have posted before about learning that difficult child daughter had been blacklisted even from the worst dives in the city where she was. They all go to the room, and they party there. </p><p></p><p>And things get broken.</p><p></p><p>And parents' credit cards get charged.</p><p></p><p>So do it cash.</p><p></p><p>difficult child daughter survived a northern Minnesota blizzard and very cold Spring, Lil. The homeless community break into abandoned buildings, set up tent cities, things like that. The shelters will help them.</p><p></p><p>It helped me, when it was time for us to make our decision, to talk to the people at the shelter. Just to learn what I could. (We have another house near where difficult child was homeless. The thing is, had we let her go there, she would not have been living there alone. A certain number of her homeless friends would have gone there, too....) </p><p></p><p>Tough decisions.</p><p></p><p>Tough decision, either way.</p><p></p><p>If MWM question regarding deficit or gullibility plays a part in your child's situation, contact Social Services.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is a very hard thing to learn. There is nothing where the loving comes easy about parenting an active difficult child.</p><p></p><p>You do need to quit catastrophizing...but that is not the mom you wanted to be.</p><p></p><p>That's the hurt of it.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It helps me to be consciously grateful for the love and beauty and joy I do have. It isn't (for me anyway) so much about letting the rest go as it is to understand that our situations are different because our children are different and so, we have to parent differently. </p><p></p><p>It has been painful in a way I can't describe to learn to stand in that different place. I understand what I am doing now to be the best thing.</p><p></p><p>So I am doing it.</p><p></p><p>This current stance, this choosing to believe in the competence and intelligence and integrity of my children and essentially, telling them they will be just fine without me is working well. For me, and for them. </p><p></p><p>difficult child son still messes with chemicals.</p><p></p><p>Which is why I like this:</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>So that is where I am going to get to regarding money, and regarding emotional currency as well, with my son.</p><p></p><p>So, this has gotten to be all about me. But in a way, that <em>is</em> what it's all about. We suffer because the joy we have is so different than the love and joy and generous peace we insist must be the way it looks before we can claim happiness, before we can rest. We touched on this once on another thread. Each of the parents here seems to be one of those people who can make things happen. This is a piece of what we don't get about our kids.</p><p></p><p>We don't get that they don't care about making it happen.</p><p></p><p>It's mind-boggling.</p><p></p><p>Our troubled kids are very bright, for the most part. They have us behind them. <em>They could do whatever they wanted.</em></p><p></p><p>That's the betrayal of it. </p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 643410, member: 17461"] Lil, where is the friend staying? Trying to know what to do when difficult child daughter was homeless in winter was one of the most harrowing experiences we have had. Is renting a room at an Extended Stay or better yet, some very, very cheap dive a possibility? I am not suggesting the cheap dive to be mean. The other homeless people will be there in the room if you do rent one for him. Rent it cash so they don't have access to your credit card if you can. I have posted before about learning that difficult child daughter had been blacklisted even from the worst dives in the city where she was. They all go to the room, and they party there. And things get broken. And parents' credit cards get charged. So do it cash. difficult child daughter survived a northern Minnesota blizzard and very cold Spring, Lil. The homeless community break into abandoned buildings, set up tent cities, things like that. The shelters will help them. It helped me, when it was time for us to make our decision, to talk to the people at the shelter. Just to learn what I could. (We have another house near where difficult child was homeless. The thing is, had we let her go there, she would not have been living there alone. A certain number of her homeless friends would have gone there, too....) Tough decisions. Tough decision, either way. If MWM question regarding deficit or gullibility plays a part in your child's situation, contact Social Services. *** This is a very hard thing to learn. There is nothing where the loving comes easy about parenting an active difficult child. You do need to quit catastrophizing...but that is not the mom you wanted to be. That's the hurt of it. It helps me to be consciously grateful for the love and beauty and joy I do have. It isn't (for me anyway) so much about letting the rest go as it is to understand that our situations are different because our children are different and so, we have to parent differently. It has been painful in a way I can't describe to learn to stand in that different place. I understand what I am doing now to be the best thing. So I am doing it. This current stance, this choosing to believe in the competence and intelligence and integrity of my children and essentially, telling them they will be just fine without me is working well. For me, and for them. difficult child son still messes with chemicals. Which is why I like this: So that is where I am going to get to regarding money, and regarding emotional currency as well, with my son. So, this has gotten to be all about me. But in a way, that [I]is[/I] what it's all about. We suffer because the joy we have is so different than the love and joy and generous peace we insist must be the way it looks before we can claim happiness, before we can rest. We touched on this once on another thread. Each of the parents here seems to be one of those people who can make things happen. This is a piece of what we don't get about our kids. We don't get that they don't care about making it happen. It's mind-boggling. Our troubled kids are very bright, for the most part. They have us behind them. [I]They could do whatever they wanted.[/I] That's the betrayal of it. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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