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He's been kicked out of the shelter
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 644148" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>The apartment is not enabling.</p><p></p><p>The apartment is a choice you made between suffering over a child living on the streets in winter or dealing with the situation in a way that made it possible for you to look in the mirror ~ or into the eyes of your mate ~ and respect the person looking back at you.</p><p></p><p>There is nothing easy about any of this.</p><p></p><p>I would have done what you did.</p><p></p><p>I have done it.</p><p></p><p>These are our children.</p><p></p><p>I am happy for the moms here who are able to celebrate their lives with impunity whether their children are homeless or not.</p><p></p><p>I could not do that.</p><p></p><p>I did not do that.</p><p></p><p>I suffered, and broke.</p><p></p><p>I am broken, today. I am trying to nurture or to stand up or to "lean in." But there are real consequences to the choices we make. If the worst thing happens, we do not get a do over.</p><p></p><p>I learned that when difficult child daughter was beat. She has healed so well! But in the beginning, the prognosis was very bad. We had been through so much with her, had been through so many ugly, unbelievable things. So we made our choices. </p><p></p><p>And something very bad happened.</p><p></p><p>Something that would not have happened had we made a different choice. </p><p></p><p>Everything about this is very real. Every choice we make is vitally important. But there is no way to know whether we are doing this right. There is no way to know whether we are thinking about this in the best way.</p><p></p><p>So we do our best.</p><p></p><p>And like Maya Angelou says, when we know better, we do better.</p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>I find (and I am still here, still learning, still doing the best I know too) that changing the suffering inherent in what is happening to our families, to our self concepts, to our intentions for our futures ~ all this happens in small, tentative steps.</p><p></p><p>Everything about our situations with our children is brand new to us. It never even occurred to us that this could happen and so, we flounder for a time, lost in the grief of it and in the helplessness of it. What we learn, I think, is that though we may not be able to change the nature of the choices our children present themselves with, we <em>can</em> change how we understand what is happening to all of us.</p><p></p><p>That is the only place I can change anything.</p><p></p><p>I can choose not to suffer. </p><p></p><p>I can learn to detach from my emotions. Then, I can remind myself that I have time.</p><p></p><p>Then, I can put my feet on the ground.</p><p></p><p>Then, sometimes, I can stand up.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 644148, member: 17461"] The apartment is not enabling. The apartment is a choice you made between suffering over a child living on the streets in winter or dealing with the situation in a way that made it possible for you to look in the mirror ~ or into the eyes of your mate ~ and respect the person looking back at you. There is nothing easy about any of this. I would have done what you did. I have done it. These are our children. I am happy for the moms here who are able to celebrate their lives with impunity whether their children are homeless or not. I could not do that. I did not do that. I suffered, and broke. I am broken, today. I am trying to nurture or to stand up or to "lean in." But there are real consequences to the choices we make. If the worst thing happens, we do not get a do over. I learned that when difficult child daughter was beat. She has healed so well! But in the beginning, the prognosis was very bad. We had been through so much with her, had been through so many ugly, unbelievable things. So we made our choices. And something very bad happened. Something that would not have happened had we made a different choice. Everything about this is very real. Every choice we make is vitally important. But there is no way to know whether we are doing this right. There is no way to know whether we are thinking about this in the best way. So we do our best. And like Maya Angelou says, when we know better, we do better. I find (and I am still here, still learning, still doing the best I know too) that changing the suffering inherent in what is happening to our families, to our self concepts, to our intentions for our futures ~ all this happens in small, tentative steps. Everything about our situations with our children is brand new to us. It never even occurred to us that this could happen and so, we flounder for a time, lost in the grief of it and in the helplessness of it. What we learn, I think, is that though we may not be able to change the nature of the choices our children present themselves with, we [I]can[/I] change how we understand what is happening to all of us. That is the only place I can change anything. I can choose not to suffer. I can learn to detach from my emotions. Then, I can remind myself that I have time. Then, I can put my feet on the ground. Then, sometimes, I can stand up. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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