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Parent Emeritus
He's been kicked out of the shelter
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<blockquote data-quote="in a daze" data-source="post: 644161" data-attributes="member: 15832"><p>Absolutely. It's not black or white, there are shades of grey.</p><p></p><p>But I think the important thing is that we make boundaries that we can maintain. If our boundaries are very rigid, it's more difficult to keep them enforced, and that sends a message that says your boundaries really don't exist and can be bent and manipulated. Of course, sometimes very rigid boundaries are necessary, i.e. substance abusers, and I think professional help is tantamount to helping families in these situations.</p><p></p><p>Given the job hours and the weather, I think you guys made a reasonable choice in getting him a cheap, no frills place to stay and stocking it with only the essentials. We did the same thing for our guy two years ago this month, but he ended up flaming out, going to the hospital and from there to rehab and sober living, where he remains. Your kid doesn't seem to have as many issues, so he may step up to the plate. Expect some setbacks as he slowly learns to depend on himself and not his parents. That's the only way he'll learn, by struggling through situations and figuring them out on his own.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="in a daze, post: 644161, member: 15832"] Absolutely. It's not black or white, there are shades of grey. But I think the important thing is that we make boundaries that we can maintain. If our boundaries are very rigid, it's more difficult to keep them enforced, and that sends a message that says your boundaries really don't exist and can be bent and manipulated. Of course, sometimes very rigid boundaries are necessary, i.e. substance abusers, and I think professional help is tantamount to helping families in these situations. Given the job hours and the weather, I think you guys made a reasonable choice in getting him a cheap, no frills place to stay and stocking it with only the essentials. We did the same thing for our guy two years ago this month, but he ended up flaming out, going to the hospital and from there to rehab and sober living, where he remains. Your kid doesn't seem to have as many issues, so he may step up to the plate. Expect some setbacks as he slowly learns to depend on himself and not his parents. That's the only way he'll learn, by struggling through situations and figuring them out on his own. [/QUOTE]
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He's been kicked out of the shelter
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