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Message: <blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 659143" data-attributes="member: 1550">Back from work and checking in. It's like I just love this little therapy thread we have going.Anyway, you are so right. We actually do have women who were in the same womb as us. But did they ever care about us? Did they know us? I didn't ever know my sister, other than her friendly facade, and she did not k now me...at least not until the end  when I, at least, feel I have a deeper understanding of this woman. From what I did read about myself, in her words, she did not understand ME, but it doesn't matter.Copa, it is hurtful in my opinion to know what these strangers (and they are actually strangers) are doing. I find I can not completely disconnect if I so much as look at anything about either of them online. Putting them not only on no contact, but on no knowledge of what they are doing has made a huge difference in my ability to get free of them. That is the only way I can feel completely disconnected from them. And it's a weight-off-my-shoulders feeling that I can't explain. Who cares what your sisters house is worth? Who cares if she's taking a walk? She is living her life and you are living yours. Before the internet we didn't know. We don't NEED to know.As long as we let their reality and life into our lives, even if we don't speak to them, they are so real to us and we can go back to that time when they caused us pain. And certainly, with the social media, there is no way they can hide from us completely or keep their experiences completely from us. But we don't have to look.There is nothing wrong with looking if it makes you feel better.I am just sharing my own experience. It is really working well for me. I already feel as if they don't even exist anymore. Like cartoon characters. I know that many people can not do it to their FOO. But it was done so much to me that I had to learn how and it has been a useful skill, I feel, at least in my case. I do know all of us are different.I refuse to mourn those who want to hurt me. They are dead to me. I do not mean I WANT them dead or sick or to suffer because I don't wish that of anybody. All I mean is that, as far as how much I want to do with them, they may as well be dead. I hope this doesn't sound bad. I hope I expressed it in a way that you understand.We do not have to suffer.We suffer when we cheat.</blockquote>

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