Reply to thread

Message

<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 659151" data-attributes="member: 1550">The shame to me is just being me. I'm just not worth it. But I don't really believe that.One thing I do when the tapes play is remind myself of all the good things I've done in my lifetime and then the tapes turn off. The more I *poof* even my still living FOO and think about myself as a stand alone, I feel good about myself.But there is a book I'm reading about complex post traumatic stress disorder and in it it talks about emotional flashbacks. They are not the visual ones veterans can get from trauma. They are when something or somebody or an event takes you back to being that little girl and you feel the eerie de juv a of those days. This is often what causes panic disorder. I did not know. I just assumed I was born with a damaged nervous system and was prone to anxiety and panic disorder and depression. Maybe that's partly it, b ut these emotional flashbacks are definitely panic attacks. I recognize them as such.I am using my tools, as COM says, to cut them off when they start up. I self-soothe. &quot;You are just experiencing something that will never happen again.&quot; I do deep breathing and that is VERY calming. And then I practice distraction. And I avoid triggers. I know my triggers.You know yours too.We are already triumphant. Living well is the best revenge. I believe that.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 659151, member: 1550"] The shame to me is just being me. I'm just not worth it. But I don't really believe that. One thing I do when the tapes play is remind myself of all the good things I've done in my lifetime and then the tapes turn off. The more I *poof* even my still living FOO and think about myself as a stand alone, I feel good about myself. But there is a book I'm reading about complex post traumatic stress disorder and in it it talks about emotional flashbacks. They are not the visual ones veterans can get from trauma. They are when something or somebody or an event takes you back to being that little girl and you feel the eerie de juv a of those days. This is often what causes panic disorder. I did not know. I just assumed I was born with a damaged nervous system and was prone to anxiety and panic disorder and depression. Maybe that's partly it, b ut these emotional flashbacks are definitely panic attacks. I recognize them as such. I am using my tools, as COM says, to cut them off when they start up. I self-soothe. "You are just experiencing something that will never happen again." I do deep breathing and that is VERY calming. And then I practice distraction. And I avoid triggers. I know my triggers. You know yours too. We are already triumphant. Living well is the best revenge. I believe that. [/QUOTE]

Verification