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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 659194" data-attributes="member: 1550">You're right.I had to smile when you wrote &quot;a mother's love and pride.&quot; I guarantee you that she NEVER expressed any pride in me.&nbsp; I think I offended her by being an unhappy child. It made her feel like an inadequate parent, which she was. But...Blame the infant (I didn't pick you up because you stiffened in my arms)Blame the child (You think the world revolves around you. You never think of anyone but yourself.) Honestly, to this day I don't k now where she got this. The only way I can even begin to see her point of view her is that I didn't put HER first because SHE was always the center of her world. At least she seemed so to me. She was not generous with her time, her effort in parenting, her willingness to try to be an understanding helper or her emotions. She also called me &quot;bad&quot; and &quot;lazy&quot; and a host of other things, along with mocking me and humiliating me (sigh)We know it. We are changing it. I have never seen it more clearly than now that I am finally studying childhood trauma. Not holding me while feeding me...that alone can cause failture to thrive and attachment disorder. Both are trauma based.I checked my baby book again. I did not weigh 19 lbs. at one year. I weighted 17 lbs. MINDBOGGLING! If you don't cuddle your baby enough, the baby doesn't thrive. That has been scientifically proven.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 659194, member: 1550"] You're right. I had to smile when you wrote "a mother's love and pride." I guarantee you that she NEVER expressed any pride in me. I think I offended her by being an unhappy child. It made her feel like an inadequate parent, which she was. But... Blame the infant (I didn't pick you up because you stiffened in my arms) Blame the child (You think the world revolves around you. You never think of anyone but yourself.) Honestly, to this day I don't k now where she got this. The only way I can even begin to see her point of view her is that I didn't put HER first because SHE was always the center of her world. At least she seemed so to me. She was not generous with her time, her effort in parenting, her willingness to try to be an understanding helper or her emotions. She also called me "bad" and "lazy" and a host of other things, along with mocking me and humiliating me (sigh) We know it. We are changing it. I have never seen it more clearly than now that I am finally studying childhood trauma. Not holding me while feeding me...that alone can cause failture to thrive and attachment disorder. Both are trauma based. I checked my baby book again. I did not weigh 19 lbs. at one year. I weighted 17 lbs. MINDBOGGLING! If you don't cuddle your baby enough, the baby doesn't thrive. That has been scientifically proven. [/QUOTE]

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