You're right. When I think about it now, I realize it was not just my mother, although she was the perpetrator. She was sort of the head of our small family and they all were just waiting for reasons to think badly of me.
Funny nobody else has the opinion about me (or you, right?) that they did. I was seen as stand offish and unfriendly (I was very afraid to meet new people). People who new me better than stranger status saw me as silly and kind and generous and imaginative and I had a big rep as having a super duper cool sense of humor, if not offbeat. I am thinking of my friends, although I never allowed many in. Coworkers? I was shy and quiet at work, like at school, and sat in the break room alone sipping coffee, reading the newspaper, until I felt safe with somebody. Then I'd come out of it and be friendly and fun.
This is why my therapists say I do not have borderline. If I'd had it, I would not only clash with FOO. I'd have trouble with everybody and I never did. I would not have been able to have two long term marital relationships, close friends for decades and good relationships with the majority of my children. And I had a good one with Goneboy until he became engaged to a very religious woman...and things do happen. Especially when they did not arrive until age six. In general, borderlines don't get along with anybody, but they do have similar issues to people with PTSD victims, except that PTSD victims have good hearts, remosre, and feel guilt. And, boy, thy name is GUILT! I used to feel guilty all the time. Like everything I was told I did wrong was true and I was "baaaaaaaaaad." I didn't blame others. I blamed me.
Thus, I was never formally ever given a Borderline (BPD) diagnosis. I gave it to me, which makes sense since I always look at the worst possible scenarios regarding myself. I suspect Thing 2 uses it just to be mean, as she can be very mean, and has been to various family members. I will never hear her say it or see her write it again though. That is the blessing of, not only no contact, but mental obliteration. Sometimes, when people never quit telling you what you are, that is the best way.
"What you think of me is none of my business."
FOO saw a very different me and I suspect they didn't act toward others as they acted toward me either. We had our roles to play.
