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Message: <blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 659287" data-attributes="member: 1550">Well, they have nobody to pick on and belittle and put down and cut off and hurt without us so our loss is devastating to them. Let's be honest here. They don't do it to others outside of FOO. Just to us. When we let them go, they come back, with a strong need to read our thoughts and goings on. I'll bet T2 is still reading this, if not every day, sometimes. The difference is, I don't care what she thinks. She is air in my life.Sometimes after a parent passes on, a sibling who is needy will latch on to some family member. She did this with me until she couldn't. Now she is using Thing 1. Why? He is all that's left when my father passes on. The mother, the uncle, the grandma (who favored me anyway)...they are gone. She has to be uber-nice to T1  now, even complimenting his looks. Before I went complete oblivion, as I call it, I sometimes read his FB and she would often comment on how good he looked. That would make me smirk. She had spent our entire childhood and beyond talking about how ugly he is. Must be trying to compensate or desperately cling to him. Her kids are not home with her. Her ex husband, her roommate still, is not going to comfort her. He in no way thinks that living with her means they are together. He learned. All she has is T1.But going back to why they stalk us...we rent more space in their heads than they rent in ours. We don't need them to belittle and torment and hang up on and shame. But they need us for that. So we are important. We make them feel better about their own pathetic selves, Cedar. On some level, they know they are severely damaged and that we are doing much better. I am not sure why I would love T1 or T2. To me, love and respect go hand in hand. I loved them both very much, especially T2, but the love seemed to die when she told her room full of know-it-all borderline diagnosticians that I was lying about my abuse and my past. I forgave everything else, but  not the invalidation. The love died an instant, quick death. As it did with T1 when I heard he was a part of it. So my main feeling toward both is a sort of "stay-away-from-me-forever apathy.Now is T2 wants to read my point of view, I welcome her to do so, even if she disagrees with it. I have never told her t he truth about how I have felt and even if she doesn't believe it, on some level perhaps she WILL believe me if she reads enough. But I don't care if she doesn't read itt either.I don't think she has my new address. At least not yet. I feel safe knowing this. No letters. You have to earn my love. That is how I feel after all the work I have put into my therapy. They have earned my apathy. The stalking earned my contempt.</blockquote>

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