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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 659424" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Swot.</p><p></p><p>Of course, you are right SWOT. But....</p><p></p><p>I was not like you and Cedar. For a long time I was so damaged that I was unable to build relatively healthy relationships with men. I had been treated so sadistically by my stepfather and betrayed by my own father...that I had no basis on which to trust anybody. I had friendships, of course, but these people, except for a few, were not constants in my life.</p><p></p><p>Remember, I kept reinventing myself. Moving to go after one goal, then another. And it was not until I adopted my son that I had anybody. And indeed, I think that was part of adopting him. I needed somebody to love and I needed to be loved.</p><p></p><p>And I will always have my son, I hope, and he will surely always have me. Hopefully things will mend soon.</p><p></p><p>I think the reality is what you write, SWOT, that we can create family and I have. That DNA matters little to not at all.</p><p></p><p>When I talk about the sense of having absolutely nothing and no one...it is the part of me inside that is still that little girl and bigger girl that lived with a family who cared nothing at all for her. And that girl is still a little bit of me. </p><p></p><p>And I think that it is that piece of me, that little girl piece, whose feelings and way of thinking keeps me in bed, or keeps pushing me back there. Or comes to fear the very worst about what could happen to her.</p><p></p><p>And I do have M. And as long as I do I will not be alone or have to face life alone. But the poison of those early years and how warped was my experience of life, affects us.</p><p></p><p>I think the death of my mother and the events preceding and after her death involving my sister, her denouncing me, The Will,The Stuff, really brought to the fore all kinds of old feelings, bringing forth both crisis and opportunity.</p><p></p><p>I want to find and bring to light the ways that that loneliness and fear that formed my life and still informs my life, to put it behind me. As we are doing this here.</p><p></p><p>Thank you, SWOT.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 659424, member: 18958"] Hi Swot. Of course, you are right SWOT. But.... I was not like you and Cedar. For a long time I was so damaged that I was unable to build relatively healthy relationships with men. I had been treated so sadistically by my stepfather and betrayed by my own father...that I had no basis on which to trust anybody. I had friendships, of course, but these people, except for a few, were not constants in my life. Remember, I kept reinventing myself. Moving to go after one goal, then another. And it was not until I adopted my son that I had anybody. And indeed, I think that was part of adopting him. I needed somebody to love and I needed to be loved. And I will always have my son, I hope, and he will surely always have me. Hopefully things will mend soon. I think the reality is what you write, SWOT, that we can create family and I have. That DNA matters little to not at all. When I talk about the sense of having absolutely nothing and no one...it is the part of me inside that is still that little girl and bigger girl that lived with a family who cared nothing at all for her. And that girl is still a little bit of me. And I think that it is that piece of me, that little girl piece, whose feelings and way of thinking keeps me in bed, or keeps pushing me back there. Or comes to fear the very worst about what could happen to her. And I do have M. And as long as I do I will not be alone or have to face life alone. But the poison of those early years and how warped was my experience of life, affects us. I think the death of my mother and the events preceding and after her death involving my sister, her denouncing me, The Will,The Stuff, really brought to the fore all kinds of old feelings, bringing forth both crisis and opportunity. I want to find and bring to light the ways that that loneliness and fear that formed my life and still informs my life, to put it behind me. As we are doing this here. Thank you, SWOT. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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