Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 659574" data-attributes="member: 17461">Yes, this describes the way I feel perfectly.Emotional flashback all around from the past, and in advance, for the future we know is surely coming.It is like finding a spider in the bathtub.  You know these things happen all the time, but it's such a nasty shock when there he is in your bathtub where you were going to soak in scented water and read something engrossing and relax away from every problem.And there is that stupid black spider, instead.So you wash him down the drain but you take a shower anyway because somehow, you just don't want to sit where he was.And your afternoon is a little bit ruined because that bad thing happened.  And you feel a little foolish because after all, these things do happen.But you just can't shake the awful suddenness of the surprise of that big, black spider.Emotional flashback; projection plays its part here, too.  Only our projections regarding our moms or our sisters?  Are invariably right on the money.And we invariably pop ourselves into emotional flashback, Copa.  That is the horror feeling you described.  That is us, popping ourselves into emotional flashback and projection that is true because it really happens just that way every single time bar none.We have such courage, even to deal with them at all.  And I try so hard to be welcoming and I never believe it when somehow, something bad happened or the feeling was just so wrong.  Yeah.  It has to be pathological hatred.  Why else would they not just leave us alone, like we try to do to them.Like when my sister asked us to come see her new house, and her husband had that cute little notebook of things he'd been thinking we might all like to do together and my sister said we wouldn't like that.  (Do you see the Rolex thing going on, here?  That somehow, we just wouldn't like to do anything that didn't involve mistreating animals or something else reprehensible types enjoy.)But it does seem to me that standing up to them deflates them right back to ridicule instead of murderous intent.  Imagine my sister playing all the games she played, leaving me messages and leaving the one where she implied my mom was gone or slipping.  And I called back on that one.  And it turned out that my mom was just fine but that my sister wanted me to come too when they took my mom to the beach that wasn't even a decent, spectacular Florida or Jamaican or some other beautiful beach.  (Only they ~ not my kids, not my brother, only they and my mom and me and my sister's daughters and grand practicing exclusion together at the beach house my sister's friend had invited her to use for that very purpose.) Ahem.Where was I?I think I was about to ask to have the salt passed.:O)Cedar</blockquote>

Verification