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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 659717" data-attributes="member: 17461">I love it that you are doing this.I don't know what my diagnoses would be.  I have not been prescribed medications for depression or etc.  I am sorry you went through all that, SWOT.  I have taken the MMPI or the Myers-Briggs or something.  It said I should be a professor ~ that I'd answered the questions the way a professor would.I became a nurse instead anyway, because I wanted to be of value in a real, physical way.  I should have gone on for my Master's.  Almost did.That concept really helped me, SWOT.  Thank you.We do!  :O)And to you too, SWOT.I made blueberry pie squares and had them for breakfast this morning, too.  Yum!  Fresh cherries are ripe now, so we had a bowl of those to pass while discussing the book.  We had coffee of course, and tea ordered from Baklava grand's hippie tea blending pal for the occasion.      :O)  Your father lived an interesting life, Copa!  My pastry is very good, too.  When we are South, my pastry and my cookies too are pasty or something.  I have a hard time with my baking down there.  I think it is the humidity ~ I really do.  I think humidity gets into the flour and changes the way it measures.  I rarely bake anymore anyway, unless one of the grands is here.  We did banana bread, pumpkin pie, cinnamon rolls and doughnuts while Baklava grand was here.  Then it was Book Club.  I am "well-rounded" these days!!!Yes.That would be the best thing you and M could do, Copa.Drive away.That is what D H did for us.  He just drove me away.  Alot.  Sometimes, he drove himself away without me.  Just to get away puts everything into perspective.  We come home again more involved with ourselves.  And Copa, that's how it should be.  Just drive away.There is a name for this Copa ~ for when we do this to ourselves.  I don't remember what it is, but it's a version of self-sabotage.  It is a way to torment and condemn ourselves that works perfectly because nothing about it can be proven.   We can do it over friendship, or job prospects, or appearance or thousands of other things.  Brene Brown's concept of leaning in can be helpful to us when our shame bases (that is what this is) are making trouble for us.  I think it is a good and positive sign that you have found someone you admire, Copa.  Perhaps she admires you, as well.  That is usually how it is, when we admire someone.We learn that they are curious about us, too.This is a positive sign of recovery, Copa!:O)You will always have family, Copa.  Each of us is here on purpose.  How we came to be as we are has to do with our families of origin.  What we do with that has to do with us.  Each of us will go from this time when we shared and healed and grew to create the family we need around us.  The family we need ~ not the family who needs to destroy us.It's only a matter of time now, Copa.I am happy that you wondered about forming a friendship, that you are thinking in this way.  That is huge, Copabanana.:O)Well, there was something on FB the other day that showed a woman of means ~ meaning someone very well endowed on the bottom ~ walking away in slow motion.  Jiggling, jiggling.  There were men just fascinated with watching that bottom.  Both grands wish their bottoms were bigger.  It is all about the bottom these days, Copa.  I think they go in and have fat suctioned from their waists and BOOM.  It was not a muscular bottom.  It moved like water.Disgust is a good place to work from, Copa.  That would be your mom, probably?It was hurtful for you to take care of her.  I'm sorry, Copa.  It was the right thing to do.  You did it.  That does not mean she gets to (or that your sister gets to) reach into your heart and squeeze the lifeblood out of you.  You did do the right thing, Copa.  Your sister would have victimized the mother further, it sounds like, had you not stepped in and stood up for her.  You did the right things, though they were hard things.Now, you need to heal and learn to cherish and take good care of Copa.(Do you hear the difference in the natures of your posts, Copa?  You are coming through this beautifully!  Very proud and happy for you.)If you and M were to get in the car and go Copa ~ or if you were to go on your own ~ where would you go for the weekend?  Where, for a week or a month?No one even dresses for travel, anymore.  A totally stress-free experience these days.  I wear a black dress and black leggings, sparkly sandals, sunglasses, hair in every direction.Earrings.Fresh pedicure.Off we go.:O)Cedar</blockquote>

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