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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 659971" data-attributes="member: 18958">I got mad at the Hospice, Cedar. First the admitting nurse would not believe me about my mother's weight loss. Somebody had made a mistake in noting a weight and it looked like my mother had lost 30 lbs in a month.  On the basis of that, she wanted to take a certain course of treatment. I dissented because I wanted that decisions be made on the basis of reality, not error.Even after I found paperwork in a few minutes which proved my assertion about factual weight, she kept her domineering and superior attitude, saying to me: If you may not be ready for hospice. I countered: You may not be ready for hospice. There is at least the need to respect your clients. It turned out that in that visit I requested the most aggressive pain regimen, because I became convinced that my mother was dying and I wanted her to have the most comfort she could have.I take responsibility very seriously. I was never so responsible and present as this time when my mother was dying.  The decisions I made were, as if everything. I guess, because they were.I never saw life as so precious until my mother's life waned and it was me who was the custodian.  Who will care for me?  There was no resistance to my mother's dying on my part, at that point. There was only the need to be "true."Then another lady came, who seemed warm and sweet.  A social worker. She promised "I will be back tomorrow at 3:30 pm."  She never showed. A nurse came, and I will forever be grateful to her. For a year I kept her phone number next to my phone. Jennifer. She sat with me until the mortuary transport came and helped us with M wash my mother's body which is a custom in my faith. She was here 5 hours or more. I love that woman.But I kept in my head the lady who disrespected me, and the lady who made a promise which she did not keep. And never called. And I held onto these things. And no matter how much I suffered, how bad I got, how much I needed help, I never one time trusted that hospice.To be honest, this experience has soured me on all hospice.  I do not give second chances when I am this vulnerable. Anymore.As I write this, I feel as if it is now, the pain of this time. Not everybody is you, Cedar. Love, Copa</blockquote>

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