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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 659991" data-attributes="member: 1550">I don't believe anybody needs to allow themselves to stay broken, not even M. He is not living with his father anymore.&nbsp; He can not control that his mother stays. His sister only controls him if he allows it.Maybe he needs to join us here <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink&nbsp; &nbsp; ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" />Seriously...although I will always have this damage in me, I refuse to let it stop me from being happy and I believe most people have that ability too. We are not them...whoever &quot;them&quot; is. We are just one person...us. And we can't protect those who don't want us to help them. Feeling guilty about not protecting an adult makes no sense. It's not logical. How can we save another grown person if the person won't help herself or himself?It is no different with a mother, a sister, a father, or a sibling than an adult child.It is not on our shoulders. It is just sad that the other person chooses a poor path and makes negative or harmful life choices. But we didn't cause it, we can't control it and we can't cure it (as COM says a nd I love it). It's not possible. Feeling guilt over this is not rational, right??</blockquote>

[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 659991, member: 1550"] I don't believe anybody needs to allow themselves to stay broken, not even M. He is not living with his father anymore. He can not control that his mother stays. His sister only controls him if he allows it. Maybe he needs to join us here ;) Seriously...although I will always have this damage in me, I refuse to let it stop me from being happy and I believe most people have that ability too. We are not them...whoever "them" is. We are just one person...us. And we can't protect those who don't want us to help them. Feeling guilty about not protecting an adult makes no sense. It's not logical. How can we save another grown person if the person won't help herself or himself?It is no different with a mother, a sister, a father, or a sibling than an adult child. It is not on our shoulders. It is just sad that the other person chooses a poor path and makes negative or harmful life choices. But we didn't cause it, we can't control it and we can't cure it (as COM says a nd I love it). It's not possible. Feeling guilt over this is not rational, right?? [/QUOTE]

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