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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 659994" data-attributes="member: 17461">I was broken too, Copa.  D H stood up for me when I could not.  I didn't tell him for years.  It didn't matter, for years and years.  Until our family fell apart; until I needed to know why and went to any length ~ any length at all, to find out why.I have not left him, yet, could be a very good descriptor for our marriage, too.  And the same for D H.  Sometimes, saying the things we are afraid to say to one another  opens realms of territory in our hearts; places we have not been able to trust, or to let anyone in.  We break past our separate lonelinesses and find welcome there, in that other person we have known, and yet, not known, for so long.  There are no guarantees.  This is a good thing, a right and true thing.  That way, we are not trapped.Trapped is the worst thing, for those raised as we were.He stood up to the father when he was a little boy.  He must have a courageous heart.That's the thing.  When we are hurt into trauma, we cannot forget that feeling, that naming; the shame is a living thing, the only thing that matters about us.  Those kinds of self interpretation, that mood or familiar way we grew up feeling about ourselves, that is what I was posting about when I wrote that I wanted to know and change the feeling tone of my self concept.I think that could not have happened had we not done what we have done here.I am amazed at us.I like that idea too, SWOT.  Family of Origin group therapy was that kind of therapy.  She taught us about the brain, about the genesis of emotion and the track that gets laid down when we have been terrorized as children.  We talked about the things that had happened and shared things like the lady who peed on her abuser's grave.  It seemed daring and shocking to us that we did not have to accept any of those things we had been taught were true about us.She was an excellent therapist.  That is the Ally, in the poem about princesses on strings.She retired, too.She got me up and running though, after that first therapist.  I dislike Freud's theories intensely, too.  If they worked, that would be one thing.  They seem not to.  It makes more sense to me that we need to see what happened through our own eyes and stop seeing ourselves through the eyes of the person who was so bad as to hurt someone else intentionally in the first place.  The first therapist was not a Freudian.  I did not lie down there, either.  Mostly, I did what I do, here.  Work like crazy on my own to ferret out what I could and then, verify the parts with him that were too scary for me on my own.  He was the safety for me you and Copa represent for me, here.Some trusted someone to share the dark with, and to believe believes in the goodness in us, and to believe in.Cedar</blockquote>

Verification