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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 660045" data-attributes="member: 17461">No Copa, you haven't failed.&nbsp; Not in any sense of the word.&nbsp; You are heroic.It isn't about perfect outcomes, for us.&nbsp; (Not for anyone else, either.)&nbsp; But especially for us, we need to acknowledge the courage it takes to willfully, intentionally, determinedly revisit those traumatic events.&nbsp; Even soldiers experience PTSD and they are adults when they are traumatized or retraumatized.We were little girls.&nbsp; (Or, little boys.)We had nothing.&nbsp; Absolutely dependent on our abusers, we had no knowledge of &quot;this will be over in two years and I will go home&quot;.We were home.Our theaters of war were our living rooms and kitchens and bedrooms and every car ride we took with our abusers.I find us to be courageous, Copa.You had a bad man that you paid to take you, and to take you back safely from, the traumatic events of your own time when you were just a little girl and bad things, very bad things, happened to you.His is the responsibility for your pain and confusion and, just like it was when we were little, no one understands how that feels, what that means, to have been revictimized by an adult we are paying our good money to help us because he promised we could trust him.You are fine, Copa.I am fine.SWOT is better than fine.&nbsp; (We should go and see her therapist.&nbsp; I love what is happening now for SWOT.)We are saving ourselves, now.And I am not even charging myself money.:O)Cedar</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 660045, member: 17461"] No Copa, you haven't failed. Not in any sense of the word. You are heroic. It isn't about perfect outcomes, for us. (Not for anyone else, either.) But especially for us, we need to acknowledge the courage it takes to willfully, intentionally, determinedly revisit those traumatic events. Even soldiers experience PTSD [I]and they are adults when they are traumatized or retraumatized.[/I] We were little girls. (Or, little boys.) We had nothing. Absolutely dependent on our abusers, we had no knowledge of "this will be over in two years and I will go home". We were home. Our theaters of war were our living rooms and kitchens and bedrooms and every car ride we took with our abusers. I find us to be courageous, Copa. You had a bad man that you paid to take you, and to take you back safely from, the traumatic events of your own time when you were just a little girl and bad things, very bad things, happened to you. His is the responsibility for your pain and confusion and, just like it was when we were little, no one understands how that feels, what that means, to have been revictimized by an adult we are paying our good money to help us because he promised we could trust him. You are fine, Copa. I am fine. SWOT is better than fine. (We should go and see her therapist. I love what is happening now for SWOT.) We are saving ourselves, now. And I am not even charging myself money. :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]

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