Reply to thread

Message

<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 660412" data-attributes="member: 18958">Dear SWOT and Cedar when you get backI made a choice to separate from both of my parents. I went no contact 35 years or more years before I learned the term here on this site.&nbsp; I did it because I wanted to have a life.My father was dissolute and mean. He had nothing to offer except degradation.My mother I loved. She was mean and unavailable, being wrapped up in herself, her needs, interests and feelings. I knew as long as I was close to her I would be swallowed up.&nbsp; I chose to live alone.So, I must have it within me to survive independently of my son.What is the difference, I ask?The clearest one that jumps out is that a parent is responsible for a child.The other one is that my son is vulnerable in a way that neither of my parents were.And my son is a nicer person than either of my parents. He has no real meanness or cruelty in him. My parents did.Writing this post is giving me a little bit of hope. Because kindness is a very good thing. My son has become street smart, but he still has his kindness.&nbsp; That is a very good place to start. To have hope.I love him so much. I have to find a way to love us both. And I am on the road.Thank you SWOT.&nbsp; And Cedar, when you are back. I start worrying when I do not hear from one or the other of you.&nbsp; I have never had better friends, SWOT and Cedar. Never better.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 660412, member: 18958"] Dear SWOT and Cedar when you get back I made a choice to separate from both of my parents. I went no contact 35 years or more years before I learned the term here on this site. I did it because I wanted to have a life. My father was dissolute and mean. He had nothing to offer except degradation. My mother I loved. She was mean and unavailable, being wrapped up in herself, her needs, interests and feelings. I knew as long as I was close to her I would be swallowed up. I chose to live alone. So, I must have it within me to survive independently of my son. What is the difference, I ask? The clearest one that jumps out is that a parent is responsible for a child. The other one is that my son is vulnerable in a way that neither of my parents were. And my son is a nicer person than either of my parents. He has no real meanness or cruelty in him. My parents did. Writing this post is giving me a little bit of hope. Because kindness is a very good thing. My son has become street smart, but he still has his kindness. That is a very good place to start. To have hope. I love him so much. I have to find a way to love us both. And I am on the road. Thank you SWOT. And Cedar, when you are back. I start worrying when I do not hear from one or the other of you. I have never had better friends, SWOT and Cedar. Never better. [/QUOTE]

Verification