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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 591408" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Does your stepson ever express remorse or does he like being hugged? Stabbing another child or trying to is pretty severe behavior. How is he with animals? Any interest in fire?</p><p></p><p>My guess is attachment disorder. These kids were both abused and neglected in their early years.</p><p></p><p>While they have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) traits, I would look at the attachment disorder spectrum first. You'd need a specialist who understands what causes attachment problems if you want this to be considered. Is there a chance either kid was sexually abused by, say, birthmother's various boyfriends? Did many men come and go in the house? Does biomom take drugs or drink a lot? If so, did s he do these behaviors while pregnant? If so, you can have fetal alcohol or drug related problems as well. Sadly, they often go together with neglect and abuse so you have a whole slew of "maybes." They could be hard to diagnose if they have been through a lot of other stuff besides just showing senosry symptoms. We adopted a child and it's not that different with the stepkids from taking on a child who had been abused/neglected by a clueless parent and put into foster care. Doesn't sound like they were nurtured much. </p><p></p><p>Curious. Didn't Dad know anything about bio. mom's behavior? Did the kids see/visit with him? Did he fill you in pretty well on bio. mom before you married him?</p><p></p><p>I don't think you'll get a simple diagnosis that will solve everything with this young man. He has simply been through too much and there may be a combination of real disorders mixed with the neglect and attchment or, if it applies, drug and alcohol use in utero. I think a neuropsychologist is a good place to start. </p><p></p><p>When children experience extreme chaos in their very early years it is hard for them t o learn to trust or care about anyone except taking care of themselves. If they possibly also have other problems due to drug use or alcohol ingestion while in utero t hat just compounds things. My son experienced some of this before we adopted him, but not the abuse because he was put into a loving foster home right away (thank God). But it was very hard to really get any professionals to agree on what was wrong with him. </p><p></p><p>I wish you luck. I do think you have a more complicated kiddo than if he had been with you and hubby since birth. Keep us updated and welcome to our corner of the world <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Sorry you have to be here though.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 591408, member: 1550"] Does your stepson ever express remorse or does he like being hugged? Stabbing another child or trying to is pretty severe behavior. How is he with animals? Any interest in fire? My guess is attachment disorder. These kids were both abused and neglected in their early years. While they have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) traits, I would look at the attachment disorder spectrum first. You'd need a specialist who understands what causes attachment problems if you want this to be considered. Is there a chance either kid was sexually abused by, say, birthmother's various boyfriends? Did many men come and go in the house? Does biomom take drugs or drink a lot? If so, did s he do these behaviors while pregnant? If so, you can have fetal alcohol or drug related problems as well. Sadly, they often go together with neglect and abuse so you have a whole slew of "maybes." They could be hard to diagnose if they have been through a lot of other stuff besides just showing senosry symptoms. We adopted a child and it's not that different with the stepkids from taking on a child who had been abused/neglected by a clueless parent and put into foster care. Doesn't sound like they were nurtured much. Curious. Didn't Dad know anything about bio. mom's behavior? Did the kids see/visit with him? Did he fill you in pretty well on bio. mom before you married him? I don't think you'll get a simple diagnosis that will solve everything with this young man. He has simply been through too much and there may be a combination of real disorders mixed with the neglect and attchment or, if it applies, drug and alcohol use in utero. I think a neuropsychologist is a good place to start. When children experience extreme chaos in their very early years it is hard for them t o learn to trust or care about anyone except taking care of themselves. If they possibly also have other problems due to drug use or alcohol ingestion while in utero t hat just compounds things. My son experienced some of this before we adopted him, but not the abuse because he was put into a loving foster home right away (thank God). But it was very hard to really get any professionals to agree on what was wrong with him. I wish you luck. I do think you have a more complicated kiddo than if he had been with you and hubby since birth. Keep us updated and welcome to our corner of the world :) Sorry you have to be here though. [/QUOTE]
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