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Substance Abuse
Hi All! II try to live my own life but he expects me to
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<blockquote data-quote="Guidance seeker" data-source="post: 728413" data-attributes="member: 22632"><p>Hi DM, welcome to this site, you will find so much support here. I’ve only been here a few weeks myself.</p><p></p><p>My son was also verbally abusive towards me (he still is). I know that horrible feeling of walking on egg shells in your own home.</p><p></p><p>My son is 20 now and I put him out at 19 (and took out a restraining order that he couldn’t come near the house although we still see him). I had been considering putting him out from he was 17 and it took me 2 years.</p><p></p><p>I too found great difficulty in putting him out but in the end it was the effect he was having on my daughter that pushed me to it. A lot happened - stealing from us, smashing things if I didn’t give in and hand over money to him. It was all related to drug use (mainly cannabis and cocaine) and started when he was 16 (he was a great kid before that).</p><p></p><p>Since putting him out last April the house is a different place - relaxed and peaceful. The anxiety remains with me though and he has been through a lot since leaving including homelessness twice which I find almost unbearable - although most things he went through were avoidable and of his own making. However, I do feel that I did do the right thing - for him, me and my husband and daughter and I wish I had done it earlier than I did. </p><p></p><p>My son has mild autism and ADHD and is vulnerable in many ways which made putting him out even harder but he knew right from wrong and we could not go on living in such horrible circumstances. </p><p></p><p>I warned my son first that I would involve the police and press charges the next incident that happened and I did, he had plenty of warning. If you did come to the decision to put him out, you could maybe warn him.</p><p></p><p>I love my son too despite all the things he put me and the family through (and still continues to) but I feel that detaching from them with love is sometimes best for them and us.</p><p></p><p>There’s a saying I have heard on here - Nothing changes if nothing changes - it inspires me when I’m feeling weak. If they won’t change, then we have to.</p><p></p><p>I hope things get better for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Guidance seeker, post: 728413, member: 22632"] Hi DM, welcome to this site, you will find so much support here. I’ve only been here a few weeks myself. My son was also verbally abusive towards me (he still is). I know that horrible feeling of walking on egg shells in your own home. My son is 20 now and I put him out at 19 (and took out a restraining order that he couldn’t come near the house although we still see him). I had been considering putting him out from he was 17 and it took me 2 years. I too found great difficulty in putting him out but in the end it was the effect he was having on my daughter that pushed me to it. A lot happened - stealing from us, smashing things if I didn’t give in and hand over money to him. It was all related to drug use (mainly cannabis and cocaine) and started when he was 16 (he was a great kid before that). Since putting him out last April the house is a different place - relaxed and peaceful. The anxiety remains with me though and he has been through a lot since leaving including homelessness twice which I find almost unbearable - although most things he went through were avoidable and of his own making. However, I do feel that I did do the right thing - for him, me and my husband and daughter and I wish I had done it earlier than I did. My son has mild autism and ADHD and is vulnerable in many ways which made putting him out even harder but he knew right from wrong and we could not go on living in such horrible circumstances. I warned my son first that I would involve the police and press charges the next incident that happened and I did, he had plenty of warning. If you did come to the decision to put him out, you could maybe warn him. I love my son too despite all the things he put me and the family through (and still continues to) but I feel that detaching from them with love is sometimes best for them and us. There’s a saying I have heard on here - Nothing changes if nothing changes - it inspires me when I’m feeling weak. If they won’t change, then we have to. I hope things get better for you. [/QUOTE]
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Hi All! II try to live my own life but he expects me to
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