Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Hi! I’m new to ParentEmeritus with homeless adult child in peril
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="ElderNerd" data-source="post: 761654" data-attributes="member: 28699"><p>Yes, we all know the essential conflict, as parents: we must stand back and allow our children their path, even when every motherly fiber of our being wants to step in and take over. </p><p></p><p>It has been the fight of my own life to give up denial and step away from enabling, and I think Copacabana put it so well: it’s hard to accept the powerlessness of my situation.</p><p></p><p>Deni, my daughter isn’t anywhere near a campground, services, or even other people. She’s camped half-way up a mountain in the Great Basin, parked on a spur track near a mining site, with no services, no phone coverage and 30 miles from the nearest town. She has a satellite communications device that sends short SMS messages, but no other contact with people.</p><p></p><p>And, deep heavy frightened sigh, she is staying warm by burning wood in a homemade wood stove. Inside an antique travel trailer that is crammed with clutter. My heart is in my throat when I think of the risks she is running.</p><p></p><p>Last week, she was able to get to town for two days. She checked in with the clinic, stocked up on food, and got her mail—but she tells me she could be snowed in until March. (Me? I grew up there and I say ”April … or May”.). She says she has enough supplies, she’s got a little woodpile growing, and this is where she wants to be.</p><p></p><p>This mom is scared, but I WILL stay the course. I can choose to love my child, even if I can’t control her choices … or the inevitable consequences that come from those choices. </p><p></p><p>It’s just hard to have a front-row seat as the train wreck gets close! But my daughter needs me, and needs me calm and detached. </p><p></p><p>Things that are helpful right now, include reminding myself of the many many decisions my child has made to get to this point. I’m a Buddhist, so spiritual practices like loving-kindness (metta) meditation are good fuel for loving detachment.</p><p></p><p>Finding support is another lifeline. (Thank you, everyone—and especially the forum owners.). Just knowing there are others out there who walk the same path makes things much less lonely.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ElderNerd, post: 761654, member: 28699"] Yes, we all know the essential conflict, as parents: we must stand back and allow our children their path, even when every motherly fiber of our being wants to step in and take over. It has been the fight of my own life to give up denial and step away from enabling, and I think Copacabana put it so well: it’s hard to accept the powerlessness of my situation. Deni, my daughter isn’t anywhere near a campground, services, or even other people. She’s camped half-way up a mountain in the Great Basin, parked on a spur track near a mining site, with no services, no phone coverage and 30 miles from the nearest town. She has a satellite communications device that sends short SMS messages, but no other contact with people. And, deep heavy frightened sigh, she is staying warm by burning wood in a homemade wood stove. Inside an antique travel trailer that is crammed with clutter. My heart is in my throat when I think of the risks she is running. Last week, she was able to get to town for two days. She checked in with the clinic, stocked up on food, and got her mail—but she tells me she could be snowed in until March. (Me? I grew up there and I say ”April … or May”.). She says she has enough supplies, she’s got a little woodpile growing, and this is where she wants to be. This mom is scared, but I WILL stay the course. I can choose to love my child, even if I can’t control her choices … or the inevitable consequences that come from those choices. It’s just hard to have a front-row seat as the train wreck gets close! But my daughter needs me, and needs me calm and detached. Things that are helpful right now, include reminding myself of the many many decisions my child has made to get to this point. I’m a Buddhist, so spiritual practices like loving-kindness (metta) meditation are good fuel for loving detachment. Finding support is another lifeline. (Thank you, everyone—and especially the forum owners.). Just knowing there are others out there who walk the same path makes things much less lonely. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Hi! I’m new to ParentEmeritus with homeless adult child in peril
Top