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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 623933" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Reading these posts on this thread again, I think: What am I so afraid of with difficult child? Why am I so afraid of his possible death? As if death is the very worst thing. I do know it is the most final thing. But I am not sure it is the very worst thing. </p><p></p><p>I am also afraid for his life. This life, this life of no one, nothing, shuffling down the street, hunched against the cold, figuring out the next meal. It is Maslow's Hierarchy of needs---the most basic of needs: Survival. And at the top is Self-Actualization. I remember the class in college when they taught us that---I was mesmerized by this notion that there is a hierarchy to our becoming. Many of our difficult children at at the bottom of the pyramid and many of us are at the top. We are light-years apart in how we approach life. Maslow says that you have to build your own pyramid layer by layer--- that the next layer cannot be laid until the first layer is laid, then next, then next. And I read recently in When the Servant Becomes the Master that the brain of a drug addict is so focused on the drugs themselves they will forgo other basic needs like food or sleep because the pull of the drug is as basic as breathing.If drugs are holding hostage the first layer, there is no opportunity to build the other layers, and that is what I believe the professionals mean when they say the practicing drug addict and alcoholic arrested in their development. If their addictive use began at age 12, and today they are 22, their actual performance level (if you will) is age 12. That is why they act like people who are 12 in a body of a 22 year old. </p><p></p><p>And the place in the brain that craves the drugs is why they just can't stop. Just stop, we want to scream at them. They can't. Not without so much help and then tools, every day, so that they are not giving in to the pull. </p><p></p><p>Does he miss the upper layers? Or does he even know they are there? </p><p></p><p></p><p><img src="http://0.tqn.com/d/psychology/1/0/h/5/hierarchy-of-needs.png" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 623933, member: 17542"] Reading these posts on this thread again, I think: What am I so afraid of with difficult child? Why am I so afraid of his possible death? As if death is the very worst thing. I do know it is the most final thing. But I am not sure it is the very worst thing. I am also afraid for his life. This life, this life of no one, nothing, shuffling down the street, hunched against the cold, figuring out the next meal. It is Maslow's Hierarchy of needs---the most basic of needs: Survival. And at the top is Self-Actualization. I remember the class in college when they taught us that---I was mesmerized by this notion that there is a hierarchy to our becoming. Many of our difficult children at at the bottom of the pyramid and many of us are at the top. We are light-years apart in how we approach life. Maslow says that you have to build your own pyramid layer by layer--- that the next layer cannot be laid until the first layer is laid, then next, then next. And I read recently in When the Servant Becomes the Master that the brain of a drug addict is so focused on the drugs themselves they will forgo other basic needs like food or sleep because the pull of the drug is as basic as breathing.If drugs are holding hostage the first layer, there is no opportunity to build the other layers, and that is what I believe the professionals mean when they say the practicing drug addict and alcoholic arrested in their development. If their addictive use began at age 12, and today they are 22, their actual performance level (if you will) is age 12. That is why they act like people who are 12 in a body of a 22 year old. And the place in the brain that craves the drugs is why they just can't stop. Just stop, we want to scream at them. They can't. Not without so much help and then tools, every day, so that they are not giving in to the pull. Does he miss the upper layers? Or does he even know they are there? [IMG]http://0.tqn.com/d/psychology/1/0/h/5/hierarchy-of-needs.png[/IMG] [/QUOTE]
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