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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 623950" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I feel as if I have been standing in that liminal space, feeling not all that "comfortable" with uncertainty or lack of control. Quite a few areas of my life have had the winds of change blow through recently. Perhaps some might qualify as a tsunami. I've been practicing staying centered in the middle of the storm, taking no action, allowing, letting go........it's been quite the lesson. As is usually the case in suffering, I had to look at my attachments. What am I attached to? What makes me feel hurt or angry? What scares me? </p><p></p><p>Fortunately I have a good support system, I can cry easily, I can rant if I want, so free expression was right there for me to let it rip so to speak. And, I was practicing all of those Pema Chodron guidelines I had been sharing with all of you. One thing to talk about it, another to live it! Sitting in all of that uncertainty and chaos, allowing the pain without running for what makes it go away, is.......... <u>painful.</u> I kept thinking about Pema saying that we want pleasure but we run from pain. So, I hung out in the pain. I took no action. I waited. I was silent in the places where the changes were taking place. (not so easy for a communicative controller) </p><p></p><p>Well, things evolved. At my job, there was a complete turnaround. Where I thought I would be creating my exit strategy, what actually happened is a whole new team was created out of the chaos, of which I am an important member. New roads have opened in other areas where I thought there were dead ends. </p><p></p><p>What happened on the inside of me, was I detached. I let go. </p><p></p><p>I had dinner with my girlfriend the other night and we were talking about detachment, it's a major theme in both of our lives. Not exactly detachment as we talk about it here in relation to our kids, although it is the same...... the Buddhist concept of suffering being caused by our attachments. We've been friends for many years and have watched each other go through lots of life transitions. We laughed about how when you are attached to ANYTHING, that is where you are, you can't be anywhere but attached, you can't fake detachment, you either feel it and let go or you don't. And all the while we are attached, it hurts like the dickens.</p><p></p><p>Once we can stand on that" threshold", I think if we are strong enough to do that, when we slip into the "deeper level", I think what happens is we detach, we let go................ and then we find that grace. It is a beautiful thing. Detachment beats attachment, hands down (in my humble opinion).</p><p></p><p>Acceptance of facts is on the Hierarchy of needs.........acceptance is what happens when I feel detached. When I let go, I feel acceptance. It's not as if that is a permanent state, it's fluid and it goes back and forth and up and down........but we can learn to go through what we go through and get to the other side a whole lot faster and easier. We learn to avoid the pot holes. I had a few major changes take place in the last couple of weeks..........thankfully I am getting better at this detachment stuff, so I hung out in the pain for a much shorter time then I would have a couple of years ago. I'm feeling so grateful for that. We CAN change.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Staying right here in the now. I can forget that sometimes. It sure helps to get reminded of that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 623950, member: 13542"] I feel as if I have been standing in that liminal space, feeling not all that "comfortable" with uncertainty or lack of control. Quite a few areas of my life have had the winds of change blow through recently. Perhaps some might qualify as a tsunami. I've been practicing staying centered in the middle of the storm, taking no action, allowing, letting go........it's been quite the lesson. As is usually the case in suffering, I had to look at my attachments. What am I attached to? What makes me feel hurt or angry? What scares me? Fortunately I have a good support system, I can cry easily, I can rant if I want, so free expression was right there for me to let it rip so to speak. And, I was practicing all of those Pema Chodron guidelines I had been sharing with all of you. One thing to talk about it, another to live it! Sitting in all of that uncertainty and chaos, allowing the pain without running for what makes it go away, is.......... [U]painful.[/U] I kept thinking about Pema saying that we want pleasure but we run from pain. So, I hung out in the pain. I took no action. I waited. I was silent in the places where the changes were taking place. (not so easy for a communicative controller) Well, things evolved. At my job, there was a complete turnaround. Where I thought I would be creating my exit strategy, what actually happened is a whole new team was created out of the chaos, of which I am an important member. New roads have opened in other areas where I thought there were dead ends. What happened on the inside of me, was I detached. I let go. I had dinner with my girlfriend the other night and we were talking about detachment, it's a major theme in both of our lives. Not exactly detachment as we talk about it here in relation to our kids, although it is the same...... the Buddhist concept of suffering being caused by our attachments. We've been friends for many years and have watched each other go through lots of life transitions. We laughed about how when you are attached to ANYTHING, that is where you are, you can't be anywhere but attached, you can't fake detachment, you either feel it and let go or you don't. And all the while we are attached, it hurts like the dickens. Once we can stand on that" threshold", I think if we are strong enough to do that, when we slip into the "deeper level", I think what happens is we detach, we let go................ and then we find that grace. It is a beautiful thing. Detachment beats attachment, hands down (in my humble opinion). Acceptance of facts is on the Hierarchy of needs.........acceptance is what happens when I feel detached. When I let go, I feel acceptance. It's not as if that is a permanent state, it's fluid and it goes back and forth and up and down........but we can learn to go through what we go through and get to the other side a whole lot faster and easier. We learn to avoid the pot holes. I had a few major changes take place in the last couple of weeks..........thankfully I am getting better at this detachment stuff, so I hung out in the pain for a much shorter time then I would have a couple of years ago. I'm feeling so grateful for that. We CAN change. Staying right here in the now. I can forget that sometimes. It sure helps to get reminded of that. [/QUOTE]
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