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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 633875" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Ah. This is so relevant to me right now. Knowing and not knowing. We don't like to "not know." We like to know. That is the root, along with fear, of our compulsion to fix, manage and control, I believe. </p><p></p><p>Yesterday in an Al-Anon meeting, the topic migrated to fear. People shared about their innate fears. Fear of being alone. Fear of lack of financial security. Fear of not being liked. </p><p></p><p>For me, this started way, way before I started dealing with alcoholics and addicts. It started for me as a child. My dad was a rageaholic. I believe that contributed to me not feeling safe, and, along with my sister's genetic disease and the subsequent very fast growing up I needed to do, contributed to my being "strong", not needing any help, and being able to "help" (i.e., manage, fix and control) everybody else. "Just listen to me, and your life will be great." </p><p></p><p>The other day, during all of this crisis my difficult child said to me: Mom, all my life, if I didn't do it your way I was doing it wrong. </p><p></p><p>Wow. He was absolutely right. I told him that, and I told him that I had worked hard to change that. He said, well, you are a lot better about that now. I said: well, it's due to the awful Al-Anon, that you say is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. So you can thank Al-Anon for any change in me in that regard.</p><p></p><p>Today, more and more, I am realizing that I know very little. I can only do the best I can do, one day at a time. And that best will be filled with lots of mistakes. And that is okay. </p><p></p><p>Yesterday in the Al-Anon meeting, a comment broke through to me. Someone said: "It's all being taken care of." They meant by our Higher Power. </p><p></p><p>In other words: relax, you don't have to do anything. God has it. It's all being taken care of. You're off the hook. Let go. Live and let live. Relax into this. Lean In. Get comfortable with not knowing. It's all being taken care of.</p><p></p><p>That gave me such comfort many times yesterday, and still today. </p><p></p><p>*****************************</p><p></p><p>Balancing Knowing</p><p>and Not Knowing</p><p>Monday, September 1, 2014</p><p></p><p>The great spiritual teachers always balance knowing with not knowing, light with darkness. In the Christian tradition, the two great strains were called the kataphatic (according to the light) or “positive” way—relying on clear words, concepts, and ideas—and the apophatic (against the light) or “negative” way—moving beyond words and images into silence, darkness, and metaphor. Both ways are necessary, and together they create a magnificent form of higher non-dual consciousness called faith.</p><p></p><p>The apophatic way, however, has been underused, under-taught, and underdeveloped largely since the Protestant Reformation and the Enlightenment. In fact, we became ashamed of our “not-knowing” and tried to fight our battles rationally. Much of Catholicism and most of Protestantism became highly cerebral. God (who is really Mystery) became something you perfectly observed, a service you attended, words you argued about, or worthiness you worked for. But God was never someone you surrendered to.</p><p></p><p>In the capitalist West, the very word “surrender” is not to our liking. We are all about winning, climbing, achieving, performing, and being the best. In that light, contemplation and non-dual thinking (I use the words almost interchangeably) are about as revolutionary and counter-cultural as you can get.</p><p></p><p>When you don’t balance knowing with not knowing, you get into the kind of religion and politics we have today which is very arrogant, falsely self-assured, can never admit when it’s wrong, and can never apologize because “I know!” According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know! Anybody who knows knows that they don’t know, especially when they’re talking about God! Medieval Catholic theology called this docta ignorantia or “learned ignorance.”</p><p></p><p>Gateway to Silence:</p><p>It is what it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 633875, member: 17542"] Ah. This is so relevant to me right now. Knowing and not knowing. We don't like to "not know." We like to know. That is the root, along with fear, of our compulsion to fix, manage and control, I believe. Yesterday in an Al-Anon meeting, the topic migrated to fear. People shared about their innate fears. Fear of being alone. Fear of lack of financial security. Fear of not being liked. For me, this started way, way before I started dealing with alcoholics and addicts. It started for me as a child. My dad was a rageaholic. I believe that contributed to me not feeling safe, and, along with my sister's genetic disease and the subsequent very fast growing up I needed to do, contributed to my being "strong", not needing any help, and being able to "help" (i.e., manage, fix and control) everybody else. "Just listen to me, and your life will be great." The other day, during all of this crisis my difficult child said to me: Mom, all my life, if I didn't do it your way I was doing it wrong. Wow. He was absolutely right. I told him that, and I told him that I had worked hard to change that. He said, well, you are a lot better about that now. I said: well, it's due to the awful Al-Anon, that you say is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. So you can thank Al-Anon for any change in me in that regard. Today, more and more, I am realizing that I know very little. I can only do the best I can do, one day at a time. And that best will be filled with lots of mistakes. And that is okay. Yesterday in the Al-Anon meeting, a comment broke through to me. Someone said: "It's all being taken care of." They meant by our Higher Power. In other words: relax, you don't have to do anything. God has it. It's all being taken care of. You're off the hook. Let go. Live and let live. Relax into this. Lean In. Get comfortable with not knowing. It's all being taken care of. That gave me such comfort many times yesterday, and still today. ***************************** Balancing Knowing and Not Knowing Monday, September 1, 2014 The great spiritual teachers always balance knowing with not knowing, light with darkness. In the Christian tradition, the two great strains were called the kataphatic (according to the light) or “positive” way—relying on clear words, concepts, and ideas—and the apophatic (against the light) or “negative” way—moving beyond words and images into silence, darkness, and metaphor. Both ways are necessary, and together they create a magnificent form of higher non-dual consciousness called faith. The apophatic way, however, has been underused, under-taught, and underdeveloped largely since the Protestant Reformation and the Enlightenment. In fact, we became ashamed of our “not-knowing” and tried to fight our battles rationally. Much of Catholicism and most of Protestantism became highly cerebral. God (who is really Mystery) became something you perfectly observed, a service you attended, words you argued about, or worthiness you worked for. But God was never someone you surrendered to. In the capitalist West, the very word “surrender” is not to our liking. We are all about winning, climbing, achieving, performing, and being the best. In that light, contemplation and non-dual thinking (I use the words almost interchangeably) are about as revolutionary and counter-cultural as you can get. When you don’t balance knowing with not knowing, you get into the kind of religion and politics we have today which is very arrogant, falsely self-assured, can never admit when it’s wrong, and can never apologize because “I know!” According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know! Anybody who knows knows that they don’t know, especially when they’re talking about God! Medieval Catholic theology called this docta ignorantia or “learned ignorance.” Gateway to Silence: It is what it is. [/QUOTE]
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