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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 637850" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>This is beautiful COM, thank you for continuing this thread.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Many years ago I asked a therapist of mine, one who utilized transpersonal therapy so it had a spiritual component to it, what she thought spiritual growth in this context was. She replied, " living within the paradoxes of life and not going crazy." I thought that was a superb response and I've thought about it throughout the years. As I have gotten older it has greater meaning because as your post says, as we age, I think we do become able to hold all the sorrow and joy within us simultaneously and remain intact. </p><p></p><p>When I was younger I saw things in a more black and white, right and wrong, win or lose, up or down kind of way. It's what we are taught, all the judgements, as we learn how to identify life and where we fit in all of it. I've often read that we have to throw off what our perception of "the truth" is so we can see a higher perspective, which to me, often expands my capacity for compassion and kindness to myself and to others. Between all that 'black and white' exists that middle ground which Buddhists speak about, perhaps that can only be born out of finding that great sorrow and living that immense joy and being able to hold it all in our heart simultaneously.........without it having to be 'either/or.'</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I watched a clip of Eckart Tolle speaking about suffering. He suggested practicing breathing into as many moments as we can and creating "spaciousness" a sense of openness and recognition of the present moment without our preoccupation with the past or the future. I have been practicing that. He said to remember to take a breath and just be, release the thoughts and expand. This is my new practice. It keeps bringing me back to the moment, and ultimately to myself. The past and the future fade out and what is left is simply the now, this moment, all there really is.......</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is especially valuable for me and any of us who have leaned more to enabling.............the balancing of the internal and the external. My okayness is no longer validated by the external, it is already okay within me. That was an enormous shift. And, I learned that on the bumpy road to recovery from enabling.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 637850, member: 13542"] This is beautiful COM, thank you for continuing this thread. Many years ago I asked a therapist of mine, one who utilized transpersonal therapy so it had a spiritual component to it, what she thought spiritual growth in this context was. She replied, " living within the paradoxes of life and not going crazy." I thought that was a superb response and I've thought about it throughout the years. As I have gotten older it has greater meaning because as your post says, as we age, I think we do become able to hold all the sorrow and joy within us simultaneously and remain intact. When I was younger I saw things in a more black and white, right and wrong, win or lose, up or down kind of way. It's what we are taught, all the judgements, as we learn how to identify life and where we fit in all of it. I've often read that we have to throw off what our perception of "the truth" is so we can see a higher perspective, which to me, often expands my capacity for compassion and kindness to myself and to others. Between all that 'black and white' exists that middle ground which Buddhists speak about, perhaps that can only be born out of finding that great sorrow and living that immense joy and being able to hold it all in our heart simultaneously.........without it having to be 'either/or.' I watched a clip of Eckart Tolle speaking about suffering. He suggested practicing breathing into as many moments as we can and creating "spaciousness" a sense of openness and recognition of the present moment without our preoccupation with the past or the future. I have been practicing that. He said to remember to take a breath and just be, release the thoughts and expand. This is my new practice. It keeps bringing me back to the moment, and ultimately to myself. The past and the future fade out and what is left is simply the now, this moment, all there really is....... This is especially valuable for me and any of us who have leaned more to enabling.............the balancing of the internal and the external. My okayness is no longer validated by the external, it is already okay within me. That was an enormous shift. And, I learned that on the bumpy road to recovery from enabling. [/QUOTE]
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