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homeless daughter and drama
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 693401" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi JH, So sorry for your need to be here, but I am glad you found this soft place to land. My daughter (36) is also homeless, her choice. Meth holds a stronger grip on her than the stability of a job and a roof over her head. It is as simple and as complicated as that. </p><p>I also have drama infused into my life with another adult child (26) and her SO and three kids.</p><p>It has been a long, long haul and I am working on staying out of the chaos they call life. It is way too much for me to deal with and attempts to " help" have left us caught up in the</p><p> <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/twister2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":twister2:" title="twister2 :twister2:" data-shortname=":twister2:" />.</p><p>Anything we did was never enough, and they seem to feel that we should be miserable right along with them. They have this selfish sense of entitlement, and don't care how their choices affect the family.</p><p> Not having it. </p><p>Their choices belong to them and I am tired of their Jerry Springer world. </p><p>If only there was a remote control where we could change their channel and redirect all the negative energy to something positive, but that is a fantasy. The reality that I can't control their choices and lifestyles forces ME to change gears towards distancing my emotions and reaction to the consequences of their actions. It takes work. But, with the recent loss of my dear hubs, there is this constant reminder that life is so short and I do not want to spend the rest of my life despairing over these adult children and my beloved hooligan grands. </p><p>So, I work at building a safe place for me to be. I can love them, but not be so caught up in their crazy. One would think the passing of their dad would be a wake up call, nope, a sort of moratorium from the drama, double nope, an understanding that I am dealing with the grief of losing my mate and need peace, infinity NOPE! </p><p>"He was our dad and we lost him too!" Like that is an excuse for spiraling more into the madness.</p><p>Ugh.</p><p>I can't put my life on hold waiting for them to grab the blessings life offers them.</p><p>Done.</p><p> So true. Not having it. They can call me whatever they want. Callous, uncaring, blah, blah, blah. Not true. The problem is <em>I care too much</em>. I wonder if they will ever know the heartache of it all.</p><p>I will continue to work on loving detachment so that I can have peace. I hope you do, too. Nothing changes, if nothing changes. The only change I can make happen is how I live my life.</p><p>I am so very sorry for the pain of this.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 693401, member: 19522"] Hi JH, So sorry for your need to be here, but I am glad you found this soft place to land. My daughter (36) is also homeless, her choice. Meth holds a stronger grip on her than the stability of a job and a roof over her head. It is as simple and as complicated as that. I also have drama infused into my life with another adult child (26) and her SO and three kids. It has been a long, long haul and I am working on staying out of the chaos they call life. It is way too much for me to deal with and attempts to " help" have left us caught up in the :twister2:. Anything we did was never enough, and they seem to feel that we should be miserable right along with them. They have this selfish sense of entitlement, and don't care how their choices affect the family. Not having it. Their choices belong to them and I am tired of their Jerry Springer world. If only there was a remote control where we could change their channel and redirect all the negative energy to something positive, but that is a fantasy. The reality that I can't control their choices and lifestyles forces ME to change gears towards distancing my emotions and reaction to the consequences of their actions. It takes work. But, with the recent loss of my dear hubs, there is this constant reminder that life is so short and I do not want to spend the rest of my life despairing over these adult children and my beloved hooligan grands. So, I work at building a safe place for me to be. I can love them, but not be so caught up in their crazy. One would think the passing of their dad would be a wake up call, nope, a sort of moratorium from the drama, double nope, an understanding that I am dealing with the grief of losing my mate and need peace, infinity NOPE! "He was our dad and we lost him too!" Like that is an excuse for spiraling more into the madness. Ugh. I can't put my life on hold waiting for them to grab the blessings life offers them. Done. So true. Not having it. They can call me whatever they want. Callous, uncaring, blah, blah, blah. Not true. The problem is [I]I care too much[/I]. I wonder if they will ever know the heartache of it all. I will continue to work on loving detachment so that I can have peace. I hope you do, too. Nothing changes, if nothing changes. The only change I can make happen is how I live my life. I am so very sorry for the pain of this. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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