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Parent Emeritus
Homeless Son
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 755223" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Looking</p><p></p><p>I adopted my son when he was 22 months. He had been in a crisis nursery here in the USA. </p><p></p><p>What I would suggest is that you no longer look at his Facebook page or social media. I would also discourage friends and relatives from engaging with you about your son's situation or contacts with them. All of this makes it harder to adhere to boundaries.</p><p></p><p>You have staked out your position and he has staked out his. There is no reason to rethink this. You have fulfilled your commitment to him and more. Had he responded you could have re-thought involvement but he has not. There is no reason for you to change course at this time.</p><p></p><p>I know how very hard this is. I have stayed enmeshed with my son (now 31) and it's not clear if it has helped him at all. I think it has hurt both of us.</p><p></p><p>If your son decides he wants to help himself, there is Job Corps, a federally funded job training program that provides housing and food, and is free. There are also ROP training programs. </p><p></p><p>Or he can be a couch surfer, or do any of a thousand other things to get by living marginally. </p><p></p><p>We have no control over how they live. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry you're going through this. Welcome to the forum.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 755223, member: 18958"] Dear Looking I adopted my son when he was 22 months. He had been in a crisis nursery here in the USA. What I would suggest is that you no longer look at his Facebook page or social media. I would also discourage friends and relatives from engaging with you about your son's situation or contacts with them. All of this makes it harder to adhere to boundaries. You have staked out your position and he has staked out his. There is no reason to rethink this. You have fulfilled your commitment to him and more. Had he responded you could have re-thought involvement but he has not. There is no reason for you to change course at this time. I know how very hard this is. I have stayed enmeshed with my son (now 31) and it's not clear if it has helped him at all. I think it has hurt both of us. If your son decides he wants to help himself, there is Job Corps, a federally funded job training program that provides housing and food, and is free. There are also ROP training programs. Or he can be a couch surfer, or do any of a thousand other things to get by living marginally. We have no control over how they live. I am sorry you're going through this. Welcome to the forum. [/QUOTE]
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